The College Football thread

“I'm more than a little hurt. Keep it up and I'll bring back Johnny Majors. Ahhhh, the good old days.”

“We need to be posting to that thread once a week. I'm feeling a huge guilt trip because I haven't paid my weekly homage.

THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY!
It's not that my math is bad, Day. It's that I can't even figure out how to set up the problem. I copied hyway's picks into your spreadsheet. Mea Cupla, Oh mighty and benificent one.

But wait... check the math again. I have the final scores as:

Dayhiker- 252
Hyway- 217
Arclite- 194
Dunadan- 194
Chili- 193

Did someone's pocket protector fail to prevent ink from leaking into his calculator?

In any case, Dayhiker beat the tar out of us all. At least the title goes to an SEC man. AS IT SHOULD BE!”

“I find no consolation in being only one point behind a football fan from Kansas.....”

“Hey, I had to list my name first just so it didn't appear as if I finished behind a Kansas fan. Tied with a Kansas fan is embarrassing enough, sheesh! Finishing behind a Bama fan is already too bizzare for a Florida fan.”

“Oh, did I forget to mention that we are off the hook?”

“That why you're called the University of Teflon, or UT for short!”

“hmmmmm,,,,,what could UA stand for? University of......”

“...Acccckkkkkkkk!”

“

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-- Dave Barry

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
-- Frank Zappa

"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot."
-- Unknown

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
-- Homer Simpson”

“Thanks kleetn, that was inspirational.”

“Greetings followers. I have some info to pass on from the grave by way of Lewis Grizzard.

Do you know what happens when you cross a pig with a Florida graduate? Nothing, there's some things a pig just won't do.

When the Clemson cheerleaders run on the field at the Georgia-Clemson game the crowd yells, How bout them 'Dawgs.

It's 4th and Goal from the 2. Auburn is down 17-15 against Alabama. The winner goes to the Sugar Bowl. Tuberville doesn't know what to do so he prays. God says to go for it and run right. Auburn runs right and loses 3 yards. Tubby is mad at God. He says, "God, why'd you tell me to run right?" God answers, "I don't know, Bear, why'd we tell him to run right?"”

“God talks with Satan?

Lewis Grizzard (Don't Bend Over in the Garden Granny, You Know Them 'Taters Got Eyes), while being one of the great wits of our time (I miss his column greatly), was a Jawja fan. You can't believe anything a Jawja fan says. Apparently that goes for Bama gods as well.”

“Greetings BAMA Football god. In order to post on this thread again, you must pay homage to me, and my 2002 National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes.”

“UNM Lobos decent year and bowl appearance against UCLA seem to be paying off, even though the Bruins bruised 'em. They are getting some quality scholarship recruits signed early. I think it's only 6 or 7 days left in the signing period.”

“Dang Buddha, the first time I wrote in as Goober the football God I gave a big "Go Buckeyes". chili gave me hell, oh well.

I guess praise from THE BAMA FOOTBALL GOD carries more weight. It should since it comes from the center of the Universe, i.e. Tuscaloosa.”

“I thought Tuscaloosa was a black hole? Sure smells like one.

NO ONE carries more weight that the current football god. Shame on you, Buddah. MR. Day won by a landslide, not a bad call.”

“Actually arc, I'm finishing up reading John Muir's "Thousand Mile Walk to the Gulf" and he pretty much describes Gainesville as a sewer. I couldn't help but think of you! I can't pick on you too much. First, you took up for me and second you might kick my a$$ when you see me in a month.”

“I've seen different versions of this email before. But for some reason this one really got to me today. I thought I would share it with you.


Tuscaloosa is unique. It's the only place I know where sofas belong on front porches, golf visors are worn at night, and Quik Snak had a waiting list.

Alabama is about much more than classes, it's an experience that you will treasure your entire life.

What is it about Tuscaloosa that gets in your blood and intoxicates you with its sweet southern comfort?

Maybe its the beauty of the Quad and the way it feels to sit on its grass mound and halfway study before that big test.

Or it Could be...
.. piling in a jeep with six of your friends and riding around town on a sunny afternoon heading out to the cliffs
..catching your favorite local band downtown and knowing that one day soon they'll be famous
..hanging out at Galette's catching the beer and burgers special on Friday
..spending more time trying to see who's in the library than you do
actually researching
..scanning the Crimson White to see who got a DUI, and laughing at the drunk guy who was arrested for singing Rama Jama in his boxers
..stopping and realizing when you're out with your best friends that these are the people that will one day be in your wedding.
Maybe its the football games, finding a date, dressing up, trying to stomach
a Beam and Coke at 9 am after a Friday night that began at Buffalo Phil's happy hour, and recognizing that same excitement in the eyes of older alumni who keep coming back year after year, joining their old friends and hoping
to catch a glimpse of their youthful times at Bama.

We will look back and realize that our time here was short, but we made the best of it. We were only here four of five years (some people six or seven, if they knew how to work their parents). Now we would be making road trips TO Tuscaloosa instead of FROM it, joining our old collegebuddies still dressing up for the games and still scanning the crowd for
familiar faces.

We'll be dressing differently and the familiar faces will be a little more scarce. We'll look over into that student section and remember when...when
it was our time here and how quickly it came and went. We'll wonder about all those people we use to know; Where are they now? Are they successful? What about that cute person I had a crush on, is she married or fat?

Yes, we'll lose touch with a lot of people and names will be forgotten, but
you'll ALWAYS have your close friends from ALABAMA. You'll email, talk on the phone, play bridge or have supper clubs on Tuesday nights and most of
your conversations will begin with those two special words to which will have the power to make you laugh or cry or simply smile- "remember when."
Roll Tide”

“I would love to read John Muir's "Thousand Mile Walk, Day. I've got Isaac Asimov’s “The Gods Themselves”, John Grisham’s “The Testament”, Joules Verne’s “The Time Machine” (my leather bound book club edition, yummy!), my latest edition of “Canoe & Kayak”, and the latest “The Independent Review a journal of political economics” in front of me. And I’m still behind in my reading.

Can’t understand why Muir would depict Gainesville like that. It was listed as the Best City in America by Money Magazine a couple of years back. It’s a beautiful place with a mix of old style southern charm, a thriving artistic community, good museums, lots of culture, and lots of trees. Bedsides HogTown (because the farmers used to bring their pigs to Gainesville to ship them off by railroad) our other nickname is Tree City USA. Maybe Gainesville was differnet when Muir passed through. But I have seen few places in the US that have as much to offer as Gainesville.

Besides, we continuously have one of the best football teams in the nation. I know y’all read your Parade Magazine last weekend and saw where the #1 Parade Player of the Year is going. We’ve also got commitments from a couple of other guys on that list. We should have one of the best recruiting classes in the nation again.

At a little under 6’-1” and 210, I’m big enough to play running back or strong safety in the NFL. But you’d hear the explosion all the way up in Bama from my knees when I got hit by one of them big ol’ young boys. Heck, I make it a point not to fight with engineers anyway. With their thick glasses and pocket protectors, I figure they’ve got enough problems already.”

“Dayhiker, I've got an idea. Let's not fight, lets make fun of the lawyer instead.”

“Now that's a plan we can both agree on. chili is out of town. We can get a head start on him so that he'll have lots to read when he gets back. Did you hear the one....

Muir got malaria while walking from the Jacksonviile area, through Gainesville, and on to the Gulf. He mainly had to walk the railline because of the underbrush and swamps. He basically got sick and woke up 3 months later.

Florida has always had a good football team? Try 1966, 1990-2001. Do you know who the only team to go undefeated in 66 was. They're headquartered in Tuscaloosa. Yeah, I guess we are the moldie oldies.

Miss Opie - Ahhh, the good old days. When my wife and I come to the city limit sign we both sigh...Ahhh, Tuscalooooooosa. I may be one of the few people that is actually having more fun at 31 than I did in college. I guess it has to do with working 2 jobs to pay may way through school while busting my a$$ in a technical curriculum. I actually wouldn't trade the wife of 9 years, 3 year old son, 1 year old daughter, and all the trips I get to take for the world.”

“It’s a good thing that I get into work early. That way I can have a cup of coffee and bring my comatose brain cells up to speed before I deal with the outside world. This keeps me from drooling on the construction documents and falling down elevator shafts when I visit the job site.

What I also try to avoid is getting on Trail Talk before I’m totally awake and posting stupid stuff like Joules Verne’s “The Time Machine.” When everyone knows that it was H.G. Wells who wrote the book. It’s a good thing you told me who wrote , Dayhiker. I probably would have thought that was Bill Bryson’s book.”

“Thousand Mile Walk. God, I'm hopeless”

“Here's something we haven't read on this thread in way too long.....ROCK CHALK, JAYHAWK, KU!!!!”

“Yeah, and I'll bet your daddy went to West Point, Day. They used to be a good team too...yawwwwwwn.

I'm a new money guy. None of that inbred, snobby, sir/duke/lord Hairybottom, tut-tut folderol for this boy. My team is one of the most respected teams in the country. We do just fine without the stuffy, moldy, back in the good ol’ days, nostalgic, geriatric history. We’re still making a name and haven’t reached that state of pathetic decline yet.

Sorry. Couldn’t help myself...



What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other's a fish.

I still love that one.”

“I need to find some of them there arc e tek jokes to tell.”

“Architects are no joke, chili.

Unlike lawyers, hollywood has always portrayed architects in a good light. Remember "Twelve Angry Men"?

In fact, I model myself after the architect that Charles Bronson played. What movie was that?”

“You know how to tell the architect on the jobsite? He's the guy wearing orange sneakers and wandering around aimlessly with his arms raised like he was at a revival meeting complaining about "all these columns", and wondering if they are all "really neccesary".”

“Good one hyway.”

“hyway, you're not far off the mark. I run into that alot as an engineer.

Architect: Can I span 153' with a 8" deep beam and hold it up with a 2" column?

Structural Engineer: No

Architect: Please

SE: Sure, you can do it. It'll stand for about 0.15 seconds and then it will be on your head. Is that ok?

Architect: Ummm, no. That's not ok. Do it your way.


If yall remember, whenever George Castanza wanted to be cool, he would tell the ladies he was an architect. There was that one time he was a marine biologist, though.”

“I just tell them I am a talent scout for Hooters......”

“I tell them I am a Finacial Aid specialist for a Breast Implant clinic.




dayhiker, I am a civil engineer. That line about the architect is how my Materials 101 prof would open his class every year.”

“Yep, that's a day in my life. Actually, architects are pretty good to work with. One thing that keeps construction is that architects, engineers, and contractors have to work well together and all three of us have three different personality types, in general.

What type of civil work do you do?”

“I used to work in a State DOT office overseeing highway construction projects. Now, I work designing local road construction projects.”

“Hey, architects are the ones who find the mistakes the engineers make. Then, we find the mistakes the architect makes when we start actually building the project. Why do they pay architects and engineers, anyway?”

“Then, we find the mistakes the builders make when the build the building. I wonder why more buildings don't fall down?”

“Must be Bama graduate architects you guys are dealing with. I know structures well enough to be in the ballpark for the most complicated structures that I have designed. Residential is easy. I’m designing a house that is all metal structure. Piece of cake. My Masters of Architecture is in MEP systems. I also worked for many years actually DOING construction. I've worked plumbing, sheet metal, masonry, carpentry, concrete, and various other trade work. If you haven't actually done the construction work, you're only half-trained in my opinion.

At Florida, the architecture school enters the engineering school structural competition every year. Usually the contest is to design a structure to span a fixed distance with specific loading points. Florida has a good engineering school. The architecture school won almost every time. I guess structural engineers take a long time to mature.

Seriously, I love working with engineers. I have an engineering mind with a strong creative streak. I was the art editor of our H.S. yearbook. Because I always knew I wanted to be an architect, I had two years of architectural design classes in H.S. I also took calculus in H.S. I also love working with contractors. I try to learn something from them every day. We have a design-build office. I have worked with the construction trades as a change of pace. It's been a great education. The mutual respect always improves how my designs are realized.


Then there are lawyers. First off, they lie so you can't believe a word they say. The honest ones just bend the truth. Second off, they only study law for three years. Good Lord! How competent can you be after three years? I had to intern for three years, then take a four-day professional registration test. What’s the bar exam, two days? Now there’s a pathetic profession for ya.”

“my buddy garfum is a mechanical engineer.


i always wanted to drive a train.”

“Lawyers, the other white meat.



Do you know why lawyers are 6' deep?

Because, deep down, they're good people.”

“arc - they are all Auburn grads that I work with.

The more I have read your post, the more you sound like an engineer instead of an architect. You are too logical to be an architect. Actually, there are a few we work with that are very detailed and then others that are more of the design type. It's rare to find one who can do both. Evidently, you can and are to be congratulated.”

“At The Ohio State University, you can get a degree in engineering, law, architecture, business, etc..... or...... You could be a National Champion.”

“"Hey, architects are the ones who find the mistakes the engineers make. Then, we find the mistakes the architect makes when we start actually building the project. Why do they pay architects and engineers, anyway?"
Dunadan
01:01:17 PM
02/04/03


So the lawyers know who to sue when the building caves in.”

“Wow, Phil still knows recruiting! UT was projected at best as a possible top 15 this morning. Looks like UT will finish easily in the top ten even before stealing the fastest WR in the nation from OK, Meachem. Got what we needed.”

“UT also took Arkansas's only Parade All American WR Brett Smith.”

“Brett is impressing me as being smart as well as talented.

;-)”

“LOL Chili! A lot of people around the state are hopping mad right now. Actually, we missed out on a couple of d-lineman that we really needed. That hurts worse than Smith. One ofhis teammates signed with UT also.”

“Well, we sure don't want him to get lonesome and go home!”

“Bamerland not too happy right now either. Russell to LSU, Sears to TN, Jackson to FL, etc.”

“Tuscaloosa is a long way from Washington State......I am sure Fulmer and Zook are making him welcome though.”

“[FoxSports has Rivals top-ten recruiting classes on their web page http://foxsports.lycos.com/content/view?contentId=859928 and I don't see Tennessee on there. I do see THE WOLFPACK, the mighty, mighty Wolfpack, on there as No. 7. We are gonna kick some serious booty next year, including the reigning National Champions early in the season.

Go Wolpack!!!!!”