The College Football thread

“well now,,,,does Huntsvillian sound any better??

;-)”

“At least it sounds evil instead of...just...wrong....lol....”

“at least we aren't Dallasians...”

“That would Dall#&%!$s...”

“lol...I got censored!”

“A while back I saw something posted here about the difference between southern and northern football fans. If someone out there is familiar with it could you repost it ot tell me where to find it? Thanks.”

“Differences between the North and the South
"Some of the many reasons why the South is great.

Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically
different from up north. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.

Women's Accessories:

NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front
pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara,
and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are
for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
SOUTH: Bear Bryant; Archie & Payton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on
campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office
on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game,
because
they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to
see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:

NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus
for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday
for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and
rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to
local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who
come over during breaks and
ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes
the state's third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's
mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them
stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part
harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum#&%!$ - tackle him and break his
legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum#&%!$ - tackle him and break his
legs."

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song,
with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody
goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the
glories of Southern football"
Miss Opie
11:30:24 PM
09/17/02

Here you go, JO.”

“chili36,

Thanks friend. You just made someone special laugh.
Where are you from.

JO”

“I live in Memphis,, but I am from Lower bygod Alabama”

“chili,

My friend is from Tallasee. Her father coached basketball at Lee HS in Montgomery and at UTC”

“She should certainly be accustomed to Football in the South!

Last game of the year for the poor Memphis Tigers this week,,,,I guess I better go to the last tailgate party of the year and try to cheer them on past Army.”

“Just a few days ago Vegas had Vandy picked by seven. Now the Vols are picked by 19. I wonder if 19 is to cover for a mishap? I question if we can score 19.”

“I wonder if Vandy can score 7?”

“The Iron Bowl is coming up and Bama is on a mission to vanquish the forces of Orange, once and for all. Go BAMA!!!”

“Whoever compiled that list never went to a game in Happy Valley. Either that, or Happy Valley must be in the souf.”

“I am not too sure where the souf is....”

“Happy Valley is on an island unto itself. They are granted honorary Southern status. I was at a cousins wedding at Point Clear, AL and Coach Gene Stallings happened to be at the same resort playing golf. Some of my cousins's husbands family were from PA. They ran into Stallings and made a point to say how much they respected him and Alabama Football. They went on and on about how great a rivalry that has been whenever the two teams meet. The sentiment is shared by every Bama fan I've ever talked to. Even though Bowden is from Bama, most Bama fans seem to want Joe Pa to be the final record holder for most wins. If the Bear can't have it, then go Joe Pa.”

“hmmm,,,where are the fans more rabid????



Happy Valley or Death Valley???”

“Where are they more rabid, or where are they more drunk? If the question is drunk then the answer is definately Death Valley. Cocoa went to the BAMA-LSWhoo game and said it was unbelievable how classless the fans were....until the 4th quarter. He said there were even fewer home fans that at Neyland.”

“well,,,UT is still a school where 4 losses is a terrible year......”

“Yes it is. I just couldn't resist. We have gotten all too used to 4 loss seasons. I sure hope we can finish strong with 11-2. I predicted 10-3 to start the season. I'd still take it. Going to Hawaii after the Auburn game is going to be tough. We have the #1 defense and they have the #1 offense. It'll be interesting to see how we handle that kind of passing onslaught.”

“Not too many people remember the man who preceded Joe-Pa, Rip Engle. But when Rip retired, everybody wondered who this young guy Paterno was and figured there was no way he would be as good as Engle. Guess he is.

Okay, going to the Army-Navy rugby match Saturday. First time ever to see rugby for me. Should be a hoot.”

“Don't lose any sleep over Hawaii. They may be in the top 25 but they still play like a high school team.”

“Shoot, the EXPN Bottom line lied last Saturday. Army actually won that game against Tulane. Wonder of wonders. Can they make it two in a row?????”

“Hey, if you see a fat man lurking around your local high school, don't be alarmed. It's just Mark Mangino beating your team to the recruitment war. Our season is officially over, and he is scheduled to be in a neighborhood near you soon.”

“I can hear his pitch now Dunadan,,,


"son, you can go to a real powerhouse school in the SEC where you will be on TV every week and play in a major bowl every year...


or you can come to Kansas where our chant is Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk..."

hmmm,,,let me think where these kids are going next fall...”

“Who was it that said, "the truth hurts" ?
Well, how did Kansas State turn around the worst program in the history of college football. Kansas does have some history in their football past such as Gayle Sayers, Bobby Douglas, Nolan Cromwell, and Dana Stubblefield, to name a few. There are always high school kids who want to play right away and have the chance to make an impact, instead of riding the bench for 2-3 years before they get a chance. Not to mention the fact that they could be on one of the most beautiful campuses in the USA.
Mangino Fever!!!”

“Unfortunately, Kansas has the same headaches that Memphis has....

Not situated in a rich recruiting area and surrounded by schools who are.”

“When it comes right down to it, it seems to take big bucks. Do the young men today rate the facilities ahead of everything else? Will they choose a school with a 248,000 sqare foot weight room over a 247, 999 square foot weight room? Do they care if your media guide is bigger than the LA phonebook? I sure hope not.”

“Did Dunadan say 'Mango'?”

“miss st is going DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! ! ! ! !”

“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Oops, I thought strat was talking about the NCAA coming to town.”

“Saturday will be telling for the UNM Lobos-Colorado State.”

“WVU 21
VA Tech 18

:)”

“Bama 34
Barn 10”

“UT plays Vandy *yawn*”

“What, chili? Isn't it exciting to watch UT score again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again
(repeat ad nauseum)”

“unfortunately, bp,,we probably cant get off the first line of your post....

and Vandy probably wont even score


prediction....

UT 21
Vandy 0”

“Michigan does not lose twice in a season. Too bad, Luckeyes......

The year was 1981... I was in attendance, as I had season tickets.

... The last game of the year. Iowa had to defeat Michigan State.... while hoping on a wing and a prayer that Michigan defeated Ohio State... to earn a tie for the Big 10 championship under Hayden Fry.

It would also earn the team a Rose Bowl berth with a tie, since that bowl takes the team that had NOT been there most recently. (and OSU had been there)

Of course Michigan came through. I was seated right behind the sign shown on national TV that said, "Go Hawkeyes. Thanks, Michigan!"

That was a Saturday of destiny. There's another such Saturday of destiny this week. But this time, the Hawkeyes will sit and watch with utmost confidence, their unblemished Big 10 season completed last week.

I can't wait......... bigger and better things are heading Iowa's way.

Too bad, Luckeyes.

(I posted this elsewhere on here, too. Just adding to the nails in the coffin. *evil, confidate-as-h3ll grin*)”

“And look who's leading the ESPN Heisman poll....

BRAD BANKS, Iowa QB. THAT'S WHO!

Did you hear about his 10 for 10 passing performance the second from last week of the season? He's had a sensational year!

GO HAWKEYES!! GO BRAD!!!

Banks takes the Heisman lead”

“Dang, LJ doesn't stand a chance!”

“Here's one for the Queen fans...

Boom, boom, boom,
Dunadan bites the dust!
Boom, boom, boom,
Dunadan bites the dust!

First off, Uncle Dunadan would like to thank Tilt for bringing up Mango. He's so alluring, don't you think?

Let's get the big one in the Columbus out of the way. Bud Bare's team has squeaked out many close games this season. Are they a team of destiny? Lizzy predicts the big fold for the Luckeyes, which makes Uncle Dunny reluctant to go against her. (She doesn't really backpack, you know. She just waits until we do and then she breaks into our houses.) Sorry, Hawkeyes, I think the Luckeyes will have luck on their side one more time. Ohio State, (and their paid staff of referees), 17, Michigan 10.

Here's the upset of the week. Pittsburgh 24, Miami 20. You heard it here, first.

Washington State beats Washington and waits for ? in the Rose Bowl.

Kliff Kingsbury should get the Heisman Trophy. However, Oklahoma will win this matchup.

USC at UCLA. Good rivalry, and USC has one next week against Notre Dame. Your old uncle sees USC pulling this one out.

The Wounded Amoebas catch the Fighting Irish at the wrong time. I have admired how Violin't team has put the scare into some very good teams. They deserve a big win, just not this one.

Auburn will repeat their choking act of last week against the Crimson Tide. Go, Bammy!

Kansas State had better not let Uncle Dunadan down on this one. Misery thinks they are world beaters now that they won against A&M. It's time they are put in their place. K-State by 17.

Penn State Nittanizes the Spartans.

Sorry, Pathman, I just don't see the Lobos getting it done against the Rams. They go undefeated in the Mountain West.

Boise State is in the AP poll and likes it there. They will stay and play on the blue grass once more.

That's it for Uncle Dunadan for this week. If I didn't predict your game, it was because it was irrelevant.”

“RE: Lobos and Rams. I know, its a long shot but the Lobos have been getting it done lately. I mean, the Q-back's been winning with a broken arm screwed back together.”

“Thanks Dunny!! An additional kiss of death to the Luckeyes by predicting a win. Cool strategy!! LMAO

(you watch your butt and your house now, if I ever hear of another upcoming football hike!!)”

“Well, Dayhiker, WE DID OUR JOB! We beat everybody in our division and now the second best team from the east is playing in the SEC championship game. Even though the tide won't get a chance to lose to the REAL orange this year, It's time to do your part in the west. ROLL TIDE!

Tilt, I've been laughing ever since Florida beat those cesspool dawgs 20 to 13. That one game made my whole year. You go have a good time at the game and play nice now. We've already been there, done that, and won it more than once. I feel good for the SEC that one of our weak teams get a shot at seeing what it's like. Looooooser”

“If we lose, i blame dunadan.”

“NC State”

“Not quite an upset, but you have to admit that Pitt put the scare into Miami.
Hey, BB, didn't I say that your team was going to barely pull it out against Illinois? I'm not always wrong, just most times.”

“That was nearly a pretty good call on Miami, Tunacan.

I think I will only watch the first half of the Notre Dame game tomorrow so I can go to sleep thinking we had won.”

“Yo, Fiddle. You just might win the first half. I don't know if your team is made up of many freshmen and sophomores. If that is the case, they should be quite dangerous next year.”