The College Football thread

“I think it would be defined as the only group of people, in Lawrence, KS, on game day, who appear to be in a good mood and having a good time.”

“The most effective method would be to not open the parking lot of the stadium until a couple of hours before the game, then patrol the parking lot with M1A2 Abrams tanks, flattening the offenders' vehicles under the treads.”

“Without any disrespect to anyone's tailgate parties,,,,I have found the best way to experience the true essence of the "tailgate experience" is to go to Auburn, Alabama, on Iron Bowl Saturday, at about 8 AM.......

Seeing a town of 35 - 40 Thousand swell to about 150,000 with BBQ and Beer on every available street, sidewalk and parking lot in town is something you cannot define.......you can only experience it.”

“...just don't try to go to Guthrie's after the game...”

“It's hard enough to leave town after the game. The best bet is to rent an RV and carry the party on into Saturday morning. Of course to find a place to park it, you have to be there Friday morning.....

It's a vicious circle, but then again.....it is a "southern tailgate party".”

“Yah it's a good thing I85 runs right next to it. I always came the other way though. It's amazing to be in a little town 50 miles away and be stuck in a traffic jam caused by people traveling to Auburn...”

“Chili...arrive in an rv on friday?...do you like parking 50 miles away????

The weirdo's show up on tuesday...the diehards on wednesdays...the late-comers on thursday...the opposing team on friday..and 1-2 rvs show up on saturday cause they broke down on the way in.

Students are forced by campus law enforcement to park off campus starting friday at 5pm...those rvs that were homesteading at wal-mart and the soccer feild then line up for the move IN-CAMPUS.”

“I'm planning on going next year, Opie. I will keep that in mind.”

“Rocky Top
Wish that I was on ol' Rocky Top Down in the Tennessee hills
Ain't no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top,,,Ain't no telephone bills
Once I had a girl on Rocky Top,,Half bear, other half cat
Wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop,,,I still dream about that

Rocky Top, you'll always be Home sweet home to me
Good ol' Rocky Top Rocky Top, Tennessee, Rocky Top, Tennessee

Once two strangers climbed ol' Rocky Top Looking for a moonshine still
Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top,,,Reckon they never will
Corn won't grow at all on Rocky Top,,Dirt's too rocky by far
That's why all the folks on Rocky Top, Get their corn from a jar

* Refrain

I've had years of crimped up city life,,, Trapped like a duck in a pen
All I know is it's a pity life ,,Can't be simple again

*Refrain


Gee, I just couldn't help belting that out.

I am not one who thinks that TN will blow out FL, but I feel good about our chances. If the Clausen/Washington connection opens up, then things could be fun.”

“I'll be Very happy if Florida can just win the game. Even if it's only by one point.”

“Hey, I scored big the weekend of the GA-Clemson game. I made it back to Augusta with about 20 oz. of that Guthries' sauce, LOL


I surmise by the Flood of Responses, there aren't many Northwestern State fans lurking about. Does anyone even know where they're from? A state in the Northwest? The Northwestern part of a state in the Northwest? The Northwestern part of a state in the Northeast? Southwest? Midwest? Central Plains? Wha?

And Yes, Chili, I'll be in Athens October 12. I just hope it doesn't RAIN, LOLOL”

“PLAY "ROCKY TOP"
(Bill Hicks, of Red Clay Ramblers' fame)

Now I come down to this bar every evening
I get here just about ten
I been tryin' to get a little lovin'
Can't remember how long it's been
So if you'll just do me a favor
Play that song for me
I'll fix your car next Thursday
Throw in the lube and the oil for free

chorus:
Play "Rocky Top" for the lady at the bar with the long red fingernails
I been tryin' all night to get that girl, ole "Rocky Top" it never fails
I can't play no music, I ain't got no hundred dollar bill
But if you'll just play old "Rocky Top," I know that lady will.

Now some people think that I'm stupid
That's all right with me
Some people can think about anything they want
Just as long as they let me be
I ain't got no education and I don't know how to spell
But I know what a good dried song sounds like
And I know how to raise some hell

(chorus)

Well the money keeps getting smaller
And the rent keeps going up
I got me a little house trailer
And a brand new blue tick pup
I can't afford no regular woman
So this is what I'll do:
You play "Rocky Top" for me
And I'll sing this song for you


There was a somewhat similar version a friend of mine wrote entitled "Play Rocky Top Or I'll Punch Your Lights Out" based on an experience he had while performing Live Music (just another magic moment in Show Biz).

<GRIN>”

“arkansas, arkansas, i love my maw, i love my paw, but i sure love ole arkansas[twang twang twang]


i will be in attendance along with the largest(first sellout since the staduim was enlarged last year) razorback crowd in history, on the 20 yr line, 30 rows up, ,to watch the pigs play bama( i have season tickets). it's gonna be a good game. this stadium in awesome & the fans are at this frenzied, enthusiastic level that hasn't been here for decades. for good reason;this team is for real. anyone that doesn't take them seroiusly will be whooped. it's gonna be a good game but i think the hogs will win. watch this quaterback, matt jones, he's da #&%!$! he runs circles around people, it's amazing. flys right past them, makes them look slow.


looking forward to TN-FL!(i'll take TN) and i have 2 boys in 3 little league games this weekend.”

“Tilt, that was magical. Those must be some undisclosed verses of Rocky Flop that the Tennessee fans don't want the rest of us to know about. Or maybe they sing those verses and the rest of us just find it hard to understand the words when people with no teeth sing.

I vote that if chili posts Rocky Flop one more time that he be ineligible for "Football god of the year."

NO BALLS! Idle words, I assure you. Not only do I have two big brass ones, but I know for a fact that they are in perfect working order.

Dayhiker, remember that (for this year) the Bear is my sidekick. I alone am THE FOOTBALL GOD! I'll pat him on the head and let him know you were thinking of him. But you're right about the FOOTBALL GOD cursing Dunadan. I have cursed him with mush-for-brains this year.

Chili, sadly I am in agreement with you about two things: 1. I believe the VOLS will get it done this year. 2. Dunadan has a warped sense of humor.

Dunadan you are a clown. But I suspect that you're really crying on the inside knowing how PATHETIC the big-12 is and always has been. Be a clown (to music)...be a clown...”

“CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!

WE KICKED YOUR BUTTS ON YOUR HOME TURF!!! NOW TO DRINK SWAMP JUICE!!! HA HA HA HA!!!

Gooooooooooooooooooo GATORS!!!!!!”

“that was cool!

how did bama do, i never caught that score...”

“DUNNY... your TEAMS yes TEAMS >8-O WON!!!

(it's the apacolypse NOW)”

“Well, the Pac 10 got some serious whuppin' this weekend. Kansas State took care of USC and Colorado bounced back to spank UCLA on their home turf.
I will have to say that Portlland State couldn't quite get it done against Oregon. Makes you proud to be a Duck.
The big story is the Gators humiliating the Vols. Kinda takes the wind out of you doesn't it, Chili? Keep watching the SEC. Who knows which team will emerge out of that dog fight?
The mighty Jayhawks kept it close for almost two quarters, then the wheels fell off. Bowling Green could do no wrong, once they began to roll. Wonder who is next in line to kick the crap out of KU?
Please share your insights and excuses with all of us, (especially you, Chili).”

“Bama beat USM 20-7. I was there. It was an ugly game, with a lot of turnovers. USM's offense didn't score at all, their defense recovered a fumble and took it in.

Bama's defense looked good, but their offense needs some work. They had their second-string QB in for most if not all of the game, and he threw at least two interceptions. But he's pretty quick on his feet, and smart enough to know when to scramble, so I think he'll do okay.”

“Gooooooo GATORS!”

“Bama won 20-7. We gave up a 51 yard TD interception. The rushing yardage was about 350-50. We allowed 50 yards to the #3 rushing back in the US. Unfortunately, our starting TB tore his ACL and is out for the year, he's a senior. Our starting QB went out for the game on the first series. Instead of a well oiled machine showing up in Fayetteville, it will be a patched up pinto. I still think it will be a good game.”

“the stadium is less than a mile form my house. this place is gonna be a madhouse!

I'M GEEEEEEKED! ! ! ! !”

“BOY HOWDY! I waited all year for THAT!

If you don’t think Florida/Tennessee is'nt as big as it gets, you ain’t watchin'. ESPN’s Game Day was on hand for the FLORIDA/Tennessee game for the sixth time. The most of any series in the nation. They’ll be on hand at Gainesville next year. TailGATORING? Y’all come.

Something happened to me this past week, something of which I’m not very proud. I suppose it all started back at the beginning of the season when the GATORS were picked the finish third in the eastern division of the SEC. It continued to get worse as our local sports writer wrote his doom and gloom about this weekend’s game. It got worse as the quotes from Knoxville reached Gainesville. Phil Fulmer was asked if this year’s game felt different. He said, “It’s not as obnoxious.” Which was a direct insult to Steve Spurrier. Fulmer lost at least ten points for class with that quote in my opinion. Sophomore Tennessee wide receiver Kelly Washington said, “I definitely believe I’m the best receiver in the nation.” He also said that there wasn’t a player on Florida’s defense that would be offered a scholarship to Tennessee.

It came to boiling point during the game. Kelly Washington was shuckin’ and jivin’ and taunting the Florida players. The Tennessee fans were doing their little “we’re number one” finger pointing and had sung Rocky Flop for about the twentieth time in the first few minutes of the first quarter. There was one Tennessee drive that ended with a blocked field goal. During that drive a Tennessee tight end was called off sides. It appeared that he may have missed the snap count because the Tennessee fans were so busy celebrating early that they forgot not to sing Rocky Flop when their team had the ball and needed quite. And it finally came to a head when the ref with the best (and closest) angle called a close Florida touchdown on a fourth down dive. All the Tennessee fans could do was piss and moan and boo and cuss the ref as they showed the play over and over from a less clear angle on their big screen TV at the stadium. I finally lost it. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be great to find a way to shut all those fools up?

This thought process continued the day after the game when the quotes from Tennessee reached Gainesville. I read nothing attributed to Fulmer or the Tennessee players about how good Florida played. All they could do was whine about how they hadn’t played well. I’ve got to tell you that I didn’t like this train of thought. I usually consider Tennessee to be a respected foe and proud to call them a co-member of the greatest football league in the land. I had always liked Tennessee. I usually root for them when they’re not playing the GATORS. But that changed with this train of thought. So there it is.

This was the SWEETEST victory over the vols that I can ever remember. I hope someday to again be able to root for Tennessee with feeling. Being a less than perfect human being, that train of thought will have to wait until next year.

GOOOOOOOOOOO GATORS!”

“That's a HUGE reason Why I live in Tennessee but root for the Gators. The fans are obnoxious and annoying. I loved seeing Florida win Saturday! As I sit here now I'm wearing a shirt with a big Gator head on it to wear to work. Nothing like being able to show people that the Vols are not Gods. Of course now I gotta listen to them piss & moan about how they beat themselves and shoulda won the game.
As for me, I'm not one to verbally "rub it in". I just wear my shirt.”

“It's amazing how a team can annihilate an opponent, and the beaten team still can't show any grace. Those Tennessee fans need to dial 1-800-WAAA and maybe someone will listen. It is quite hilarious though.”

“Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Florida fans would never ever be annoying. Pompous, condescending and generally poor winners, perhaps. But annoying?

It reminds me of the 49ers in their heyday. At first glance, it was puzzling why nearly everyone hated them. People didn't dislike the players or the coaches or San Francisco in general... but the Fans: SOME of the fans.

Tennessee fans are no angels, oh no, but Florida fans seems to work harder at it. For some reason they feel they have to.

Why?”

“- s”

“The Gators got the job done. No doubt about that. But you have to admit,,,Tennessee played the worst quarter of football in history Saturday.

After the second quarter, I couldn't bear to see anymore......

I went and played 18 holes of golf and enjoyed that a heck of a lot more than I was enjoying the game.”

“i was gettin tired of the color ugy on TV rootin for tenn. it was really annoying. as the game went on he gradually started leaning towards Fl. i think he was just trying to be "smart" and he thought Tn was gonna win, so he was actin like they were better.


personally, as far as the game goes, i thought Tn would win but i'm glad Fl did(i hate them both as a devoted razorback fan). Tn having a conference loss is good for arkansas. so when we beat them, ,they'll have 2! wish they coulda saved that crappy game for us though, lol.



BRING ON BAMA! ! ! ! !! ! !! !”

“Hey chili, Tennessee just fumbled another snap.

Congrats to Florida. Arclite just wanted to ask a few questions. Where did Washington say that there wasn’t a player on Florida’s defense that would be offered a scholarship to Tennessee? It would not surprise me if he said that but I usually spend much more time than I should reading football related articles and never came across that. You also commented about Fulmer, what's the problem with saying that? Steve and Phil are friends who over the years have and still pick on each other. Of course, the press has only shown one side of the equation to promote the game. You sure didn't have any problems with the comments by Spurrier. One thing I have always admired about Phil and Steve is that they are brutally honest and hide nothing.

Finally, most UT fans admit that we got our butt handed to us. The second quarter has already been labeled as the worst 4:44 in the history of Tennessee Football. Moans and complaints are coming from the feeling that UF's victory was gift wrapped and delivered. 4 consecutive miss-snaps, 6 total(another out of the shotgun was not counted), 8 fumbles total, and a blocked field goal. Those losses hurt the worst.”

“arc, you couldn't hold the Bear's jock. That reminds me of a joke from the mid-eighties. Bo Jackson ran the wrong way in a game on a crucial play at the end of the game. The play was stuffed and Auburn lost.

It's forth down and Pat Dye doesn't know what to call. He prays to God about what to call. God says to run Bo around the right end. Coach Dye calls toss sweep around right end. Bo runs the wrong way and the play is stuffed. Dye says "Lord, why did you tell me to run it around right end." God says "I don't know. Bear, why did we tell him to run it around the right end."”

“i don't get it.....”

“1. Miami (Fla.)
2. Texas
3. Oklahoma
4. Florida State
5. Virginia Tech
6. Ohio State
7. Georgia
8. Oregon
9. Florida
10. Notre Dame
11. Tennessee
12. Penn State
13. Washington
14. Michigan
15. North Carolina State
16. Wisconsin
17. Kansas State
18. Washington State
19. Nebraska
20. LSU
21. Iowa State
22. Southern California
23. Colorado State
24. Oregon State
25. Auburn

USA Today/ESPN Poll for this week.

If someone had wanted to bet me that Notre Dame and Penn State would have Tennessee flanked in the Poll by the fourth week, I would have bet the farm.

However, from the team that took a real drumming Saturday, comes the chant.......It 'aint over 'till the fat lady sings".”

“i hear ophra warmin up her vocal chords......”

“The way this season is going, strat....I don't think she is even in the building.”

“you think georgia's for real? i' not so sure. glad we dont play the this year. we got a tough 5 weeks though.”

“They are real enough to be in the Top Ten. Everyone in the SEC has a rough schedule in front of them.

I am sure Ole Miss thought they would blow Vandy out.....”

“yeah, i was suprized at that 1 too!


hek, spilled koffeeeeeeee kyeboeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeadeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefffffffffffff
ff


PHUK! ! !”

“too much sugar, LOL

It makes the keys Nice and Sticky, tho'...”

“Congratulations to the current football god, (soon to be deposed!). Florida is a good team that took advantage of Tennessee's mistakes.
However, I seem to remember someone saying that the Big 12 was weak. And this someone thinks the SEC is strong?????”

“Don't let me forget to say "GO NOTRE DAME"!!!! Gotta love the Irish!!!!!!”

“If you would have said that Penn State or ND would even be in the top 25 I would have had you locked up. Were the Vols abducted by aliens during the 2nd quarter? That was horrible. Maybe some of the Bengals suited up. I wanted the Vols to be undefeated when the little piggys came calling. Who is going to catch the wrath this weekend?”

“Don't fret chili, the Wounded Amoebas come to Knoxville next week. This will be our 4th game against Tennessee. Tell your boys they can take this one lightly and should probably start celebrating Friday night.”

“dammm thing went haywire! i took it apart and cleaned it with alchohol & it works now, lol.


arky, BAMA is gonna take a whoopin dood! i'll be there, doin my part! i'll be horse on sunday, i guarandamteeya! you still live in AR?”

“Violin, by man! You know that it takes guts for you and I to post on this thread. The Wounded Amoebas should be in a league with the Amoeba Wanna-Be's, (KU).
I suggest that you pump sleeping gas into their locker room before the game.”

“Buckeyes win again, yawn, even without this years' heisman winner playing. It looks like our only formidable opponent for the rest of the season is Penn St. (yes, that includes the overrated punk ass SEC,ACC, Big 12 or PAC 10 opponent that we crush for the national championship).

In an unrelated note, Beano Cook just predicted that Notre Dame will win the National Championship.”

“I intend to charter the Mets team bus and lend it to the Tennessee Vols free of charge - bongs and all.”

“Beano Cook is on acid!
Bud Bear, your mighty Buckeyes lucked out!”

“bongs? acid? wounded amoebas? gosh, when did football get so exciting??
;-)”