The College Football thread

“Hello, coach Zook. We can't wait for you to come to Knoxville, we know you always wanted to coach in front of 100,000+ fans. Better bring your earplugs.”

“Zook's rookie season. The season of Zookie the Rookie.
I hope he is a good coach for the Gaiters.
We have the ex-Gator strengthening coach at KU, now. Look out world, the Jayhawks are making a statement.”

“You keep trying to sneak that nasty ol' basketball in here, Dun.

Will you start the thread or should I?”

“Done been started.....
Start some talk about the Gators playing the Jayhawks in football, Arc. I'll start talking it up around here. In a year or two, it could happen. That would be fun. The teams have never met.”

“That'd be cool. You've got a place to crash here.”

“well, now i'll have to start watchin' a few redskins' games. ugh.”

“I thought that this was pretty funny:


By Pat Forde
Special to ESPN.com


Steve Spurrier resigned Friday in Gainesville, Fla. In other news ...


Steve Spurrier celebrated seven SEC titles, but the SEC is doing the celebrating now.
There were unconfirmed reports of confetti raining from downtown windows in Knoxville, Tenn. Phil Fulmer reportedly had a double chocolate sundae delivered to his office.

In Athens, Ga., sources say coach Mark Richt sprinted out of the Georgia football offices, tore off his clothes and danced naked with UGA VI between the hedges.

In Columbia, S.C., champagne corks allegedly flew through the mid-afternoon air like buckshot. South Carolina spokesmen denied reports that Lou Holtz and his entire staff formed a conga line and danced out of the office, saying something about a three-day bender.

In Tuscaloosa, Ala., schools were dismissed early, with no homework.

In Baton Rouge, La., Mardi Gras spontaneously commenced five weeks early.

In Nashville, Tenn., and Lexington, Ky., there were reports of wan smiles on normally downtrodden faces. There was hope for the hopeless and cheer for the cheerless, for the first time since the 1980s.

And in Tallahassee, Fla., word is that Bobby Bowden broke out the good stuff.

Friday was Liberation Day in the Southeastern Conference. It was Liberation Day for those accused leg-twisters, quarterback-hitters and Foot Locker bargain hunters at Free Shoes U. It was Liberation Day for every school that watched the Head Ballcoach of the Florida Gators put 63 on the scoreboard against it -- then watched him throw, throw, throw for 70 in the last minutes.

Steve Superior has gone pro. The SEC is free at last, free at last, from the mouthy, merciless maestro who held it in thrall for a dozen dominant seasons.

That doesn't mean the blue-and-orange occupying force will cede control of the league. Florida athletic director Jeremy Foley is not the kind of guy who walks around without a Plan B in his back pocket -- and his Plan B figures to be a Plan A for just about any other school in the country. (Prediction: He'll have a much easier time than Notre Dame finding the right guy.)

But down in Dixie they'd much rather deal with the devil they don't know than the one they know so well. Not even ol' Scratch himself would be an unwelcome sideline sight in The Swamp after 12 years of the unbearable greatness of Stevie Boy.

It wasn't just that Steve Spurrier beat everybody so often (122 times, and at least nine times every single fall at Florida).

It wasn't just that his offense was so much more entertaining and productive than everybody else's (the Fun'N'Gun will one day be remembered with the Oklahoma wishbone, the Woody Hayes T and the other signature attacks in college football history).

It was, bottom line, that Spurrier was such an unapologetic, outsized character about it all. He was cocky in victory, crabby in defeat and controversial at all times.

He toted the biggest personality in the game. Biggest ego, too. Wore the biggest target and lived to brag about it, week after week.

(You think it was coincidental that Spur Dog announced his resignation on the day the pollsters officially voted in-state rival Miami No. 1? You don't think he knew which story would steal the headlines and commandeer the newscasts? You think he wasn't on the 7th fairway somewhere, laughing while his pager and cell phone blew up?)

Nobody worked the needle like Spurrier.

He stuck it to Tennessee (4-8 against Spurrier). When the Gators kept relegating the Volunteers to the No. 2 SEC bowl tie-in, the Citrus, it was Spurrier who famously said, "You can't spell Citrus without UT."

He stuck it to Georgia (1-11 against Spurrier). He lampooned former coach and hopeless foil Ray Goff, whom he routinely referred to as Ray Goof. He also enjoyed pointing out all of Goff's highly rated recruiting classes that somehow never translated into teams capable of beating Spurrier's Gators.

If there is an analogous coach in recent college history, it is Rick Pitino ... Both remade probation-bound programs (and complained endlessly after being stuck with asterisks for their non-title title seasons in 1990-91). Both overwhelmed the league with innovative strategy. Both won national titles in 1996. Both entertained the fans and media and frosted the opposition.

He stuck it to Kentucky (0-12 against Spurrier). Rang up 73 on Bill Curry, who once chose not to retain Spurrier as an assistant at Georgia Tech. Rang up 50 or more three times on Hal Mumme, whom he gigged for being more interested in big stats than wins.

He stuck it to Vanderbilt (0-12 against Spurrier). Sent Dead Man Walking Woody Widenhofer to the showers this year with 71 on the scoreboard.

He stuck it to Mississippi State (2-4 against Spurrier). He ordered up a late touchdown in a 52-0 rout this year, then explained it as a bow to the wishes of a student manager who was mauled in the postgame mob scene at Starkville in 2000 when the Bulldogs upset the Gators.

He played jersey games with LSU (1-11 against Spurrier) when the Tigers wanted to wear their whites at home. He played war games with former Alabama (3-6 against Spurrier) coach Mike DuBose, sending him a letter accusing him of cheating. And he played incessant mind games with the Seminoles over the years, topped off by his charge of intentional injury in their game in Gainesville Nov. 17 -- which led to the Quote of the Year in college sports, Florida State AD Dave Hart recommending a spanking and bedtime for Stevie Boy.

If there is an analogous coach in recent college history, it is Rick Pitino, the similarly brash and brilliant savior of Kentucky basketball.

Spurrier and Pitino both owned the '90s in the SEC. Both remade probation-bound programs (and complained endlessly after being stuck with asterisks for their non-title title seasons in 1990-91). Both overwhelmed the league with innovative strategy. Both won national titles in 1996. Both entertained the fans and media and frosted the opposition.

Pitino pulled his boot off the SEC's collective throat in '97 for the pros. Now Spurrier is doing the same.

What if Spurrier pulls a Pitino on that level:”

“Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
Maybe you should get a real religion, Arc. With your rabid enthusiasm, you'll make it to heaven in no time.
Let me tell you, there will be a few bumps in the road with Zook. I don't think the transition will be as smooth as silk.”

“Well, someone had to do it.

So far, I am convinced that Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas and Florida all suck.”

“Oh chili that hurts! I guess you didn't know that all the toilet paper sold here in Arkansas is orange with a "T" on each square. That way both Tennessee and Texas are both covered. Plus, we don't want to be included with Alabama because when we cheat we don't get caught.”

“No way, Gators will surprise everyone this year and not miss a beat since Spurrier left...!







Yeah, and I'm a Chinese jet pilot.”

“Well that's a fine Howdy Do, Chili. I don't think Tennessee sucks. I would never say something so crass in public.

It will be interesting to see the GATORS new balanced attack. It will be interesting to see if the favored VOLS can make up some ground on the BUTT KICKINGS that Florida has laid on them over the last ten years. Tennessee does a good job of choking when they are favored.

TENNESSEE BLOWS!”

“I'm backing the MANgino! He is the new saviour in Jayhawk land. Accept him now as the best coach in the country, or bow to him later. You have been forewarned.”

“I'll have to agree, slUT does BLOW. Wait a minute, I'm riding 3 hours with chili. Yeah, they still BLOW! I just hope they don't make it 8 in a row on us this year.”

“Blow? as in Blowing the other teams off the field?

But in all honesty, I have to admit that I like Florida, Alabama, Arkansas and certainly Kansas, much more than I do LSU.

This should be a good year in the SEC. I think there will be more balance. It is probably bad for the SEC in terms of fielding a National Champ this year, becuase by the time we get through our schedule, it's hard to remain unscathed.

However, there is nothing like having big enough gonads to schedule Miami not only as a non-conference opponent, but also to do it on homecoming.”

“Is that Miami(Ohio), chili?”

“I agree, that did take some nads. Alabama has a pretty good out of conference schedule as well. At Oklahoma, at Hawaii, Southern Miss, and MTSU(pass happy hungry team). North Texas is a patsy and barely worth mentioning. We also play at LSU, at Ark, at UT, and have Georgia and Auburn at home. Some are saying it's the hardest sch in the country this year. It's a 13 game regular season. When we get our bowl probation lifted in the appeal and win the West, we'll have a 15 game schedule. I can at least be optimistic, can't I?”

“I also think it will be a good year. In the West it should be LSU, Ark, and Bama. In the East it should be TN, UF, UGA in the running. Can LSU do it without Rohan Davey and Josh Reed? Can Ark get it together on both sides of the ball at the same time? Can Bama overcome the emotional side of things after the verdict. Can UT get over losing their starting DL and will a young RB step up(they always do). Can UF get up to speed quickly with Zook? Can UGA finally do something with all the talent they seem to always have?

Just a few of the big questions?

Oh yeah, can Kansans learn to spell boygino?”

“Yep dayhiker, and don't forget S. Carolina, they seem to be pretty scrappy with Holtz at the helm. Likewise, you never know when Sherrill will pull a rabbit out of the hat.

No, bitpusher, it is the Florida version. Bring 'em on, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

“I'm just not too sure about SC with Petty graduating, but you can never tell with Holtz”

“At least with the Gators, when I go down to visit the folks it'll probably be easier for me to get tickets since Spurrier is gone.

Would it hurry up and be September already!?!?!?!?!?!”

“The problem in the SEC dayhiker, is that even a bling hog like Vandy will occassionally root up an acorn.”

“Vandy's always had a pretty solid defense. But their academic standards prevent them from having a real football team.”

“Hard to find that many skilled players that can handle their academics. If all the teams in the SEC were limited to 30 players, Vandy would be a lot tougher to beat. However, when you get past the starters, they go soft in a hurry.”

“How courageous of Tennessee to schedule Miami and Rutgers in the same year. The GATORS play Miami and FSU. No National Championship for us this year.”

“Arclite - what, don't you have any faith in Zook?!?!








Me neither.”

“Violin is going to be real p!sses and start using your personality again if you say anything bad about Rutgers. Isn't that his powerhouse team?”

“Dubya was in B'ham on Monday and requested Dreamland Ribs. For our non-SEC breathren, these are ribs from a Tuscaloosa restaurant. Keith Jackson used to always talk about them while doing Bama games.

Gimme dem ribs”

“Dayhiker, our local sports writer has raved about Dreamland Ribs for years. And I'll bet he knows his food because this is a big boy. I've got to try them.

I've got plenty of faith in Zook, Artex. I met him the other day. He's a real nice guy but if anyone thought Steve was wound too tight, they ain't seen nothin' yet. Zook and Billy Donovan are both confirmed work-a-holics. To say that Ron Zook is intense is an understatement. Wait until the sportswriters get a load of his sideline hystrionics.


It's just that the GATORS will probably have the #1 ranked schedule in the nation.

Sept. 7- Miami
Sept. 21- Tennessee (there)
Oct. 12- LSU
Oct. 19- Auburn
Nov. 2- Jawja
Nov. 15- S. Carolina
Nov. 30- FSU (there)

Throw in a couple of other "should win" games and the possibility of the SEC Championship Game, and you've got a possible three loss (or worse) season. Without a playoff system they haven't got a chance against teams from those weak midwestern conferences.

Artex, I'm an optimist, not a flaming flake-case. Imagine being like some poor Kansas fan who keeps talking about having a great season every year. I mean, you've got to pity the fool. But that wouldn't stop me from taking his money around betting time. You've got to take these folk's money away from them to deter this type of pitifully optimistic behavior.”

“I agree with you on pretty much all those accounts. Zook is a hard worker, when he was defensive coordinator at UF he use to run out on the field and hit players (we're talking football hits), and they were in pads and he of course wasn't! He's bona fide.. but I question how he'll handle the offense, given his resume in college and NFL is all defense and special teams.

Gators schedule is beyond tough. Can't believe we're playing Miami so early in the season, so much for those two warm-up games we always used to play!”

“arc,,,"a couple of other should win games"?

give me a break,,,,,you mean UAB and Miami of Ohio?

I sure hope so, or a victory over the Gators will be pretty hollow for the Vols.”

“Chili, for an esquire you don't read so good. That's Miami Florida then Ohio U, son. And that's FSU, as in the Seminoles, as opposed to that powerhouse Scarlet Knight team ya'll have on your cupcake schedule. Hollow? are you kiding me? ANY victory over the GATORS is so rare for VOL fans that they go crazy. When the VOLS beat the GATORS they tear down the goal posts. When we beat the VOLS it's just another day's work. It all has to do with the difference in the level of excellence between the two programs. I'm curious as to just where did the VOLS finish in the final standings for the SEC all-sports trophy for women, for men, and for overall? We certainly know that it wasn't FIRST in any of those three categories.

By the way chili, I'm confused as to what is a bling pig? Is that how someone with no teeth pronounces blind or is that there some sorta mutant mountain pig?”

“I notice with some curiosity that you fail to mention UAB in your tirade. That's OK, I would be embarrassed too.

Ohio U., now there is a powerhouse. Let's see, the Mighty Bobcats (LMAO, at least they could have gone with Tigers or Lions or Cougars) were a whopping 1 and 10 last year! Heck, they even lost to NC State. I will admit, however, their one win was an impressive showing over CENTRAL Michigan **snicker**snicker**

Yes, a win over Florida is mighty thing. They have a strong program. They play very tough at home and only a very good team would ever beat them in the swamp.

But a "should" win over Ohio U.????


smetkehnta eahrrht thekrne kekn ***chili36 can't type so well when he is ROFLMFAO**”

“I never count anything as a sure win. A few years ago FSU overlooked Southern Miss. and got mightily embarrassed. Hey, chili, even teams like UAB and Ohio U. can be sneak up and bite ya. Look what happened to Tennessee last year. Before the SEC Championship Game, VOL fans had probably bought a lot of tickets to the National Championship Game they knew they would be playing against Miami. They played a team that they (choke...) probably (choke, choke...) "should have" (choke,,,) beat. Never count your chickens until they fail to mutate into bling hogs.”

“LOL. They were almost destined to choke against LSU.

But I wouldn't hardly compare LSU (or UAB or Southern Miss) with Ohio U. C'mon arc. Even you have to admit that they Ohio U. is one of the weakest teams in the nation.”

“Well I don't know about weakest, chili. Two years ago we started the season against the team that was ranked dead last out of something like 106 1A teams. I don't even remember their name. PU what a stinker. But seriously, we're due for a patsy or two with the schedule we've got. And like I said, I don't believe in sure things when it comes to college football. Even Kansas may manage to win a game or two this season.”

“If Kansas played an SEC schedule and got spotted by two touchdowns as the start of each game, they wouldn't break .500.”

“Whoever wins the State of Florida should play in the National Championship Game every year.

I wonder if those folks from Nebraska would like another crack at one of our "overrated teams" this year?”

“Bow before the mighty Mangino!
Hey, we might not play football at Kansas, but we know how to spell football.
Arc, watch what you ask for with Nebraska. They just might husk your corn for you.”

“Whoever wins the State of Florida?

Heck, after skinning the Gators and taking the wind out of the 'Cains sails, maybe UT can take scalps against FSU in the title match.”

“Maybe, Dunadan. After they've all been discharged from the hospital. Them Corn-Doggies took a lot of hits that knocked 'em right out of their shoes. I could feel those hits through my TV screen. I'll bet Nebraska's equipment manager was busy trying to find them new shoes and uncracked helmets all night. Nebraska got DESTROYED. They got physically DESTROYED. And that high-school option attack they use got DESTROYED. Almost as badly as they destroyed Florida back in '96.

Just remember, chili, Tennessee has to get through the Scarlet Knights before they can start thinking about choking at the end of the season! Got your Citrus Bowl tickets yet?”

“I wish they wouldn't have renamed the Citrus Bowl. I loved the signs that Gator fans made saying "You can't spell Citrus without UT".

Chomp!”

“Arc, that would be the Capitol One Bowl and no, I don't have my tickets yet. By my reckoning, if UT goes there, I can get them cheap just before the game.”

“Did you manage to get cheap tickets for our game?”

“Arc, the last word I got on tickets for that game made me cringe.

I can pay a couple of hundred bucks (just for a ticket)and go,,,or I can stay at home, cook a pot of chili, have a couple of brews and get instant replay.

I like the Vols, but I try to use a little reason every now and then.”

“One word - Buckeye!”

“Akron, chili, that's the team we played that was so pathetic. Akron, Ohio U., whatever, every self-respecting football fan knows they can't play football in Ohio.

Too bad about the Tennessee game. I was looking forward to driving up there for a long weekend of some serious teasing. I agree about the prices though. When the market sets the prices too high, I ain't buyin'. Driving prices up just makes it worse for the working man with six kids to support....yada, yada, yada”

“Tickets to the Florida game are scarce. The "street" price is going to be high.

Heck, you never know. I might decide to fly to Gainsville, wear my Orange shirt sporting the Power T, go to the local pub, and cheer my team on to victory.

I live for excitement!”

“Most Florida fans are class acts, chili. I had a great time in the Ale House one year where the crowd was evenly split between Florida and FSU fans. We had a great time together. There are always a few though. I have seen some really obnoxious drunks at some games. Ya'll come! I promise we won't ride you too hard when you lose.”

“Ah, the ole Ale House on Archer Road, I miss that place! Used to date a waitress there (she had fake thingys).”