Conressman Condit

“kleetn, what the hell are you talking about?

documents, boy! let's see proof!”

“What's sad is that it is often a choice between the lesser of two bozos.”

“and it's usually that the lesser is just better at not getting caught.”

“Rad--

Barr is a disgrace to the human race.

This came off a simple GOOGLE search entering "bob Barr" and "stripper". It is only one of many hits.

Monday, June 7, 1999 -- NEW YORK -- You couldn't dream of a better target for "DIS-patch" than Rep. Bob Barr (R-17th Century Salem via Georgia).

He's the poster child for political hypocrisy.

He supports the most extreme anti-abortion legislation in the halls of Congress, yet still finds time to sign a check so that his wife's own pregnancy can be terminated. He has avoided the subject of his own lineage )which reportedly includes Haitian ancestors), yet has made speaking appearances before those paragons of old-fashioned values like Jim Crow and segregation, the CCC. He rants about the decline in American morals and values -- when he's not busy being photographed licking whipped cream off the breast of a stripper. He tries to harass Bill Clinton out of office making exaggerated and fraudulent claims that he is a perjurer, yet appears to have perjured himself in a deposition made in 1986 -- that is, when he was not hiding behind Georgia's equivalent of the fifth amendment.

Larry Flynt, pornographer supreme and staunch opponent of hypocrites everywhere, said Barr "could teach slippery behavior to a greased weasel." That almost comes across as a compliment.

Well, fans, if defending America from the threats of sensible gun control and freedom of choice -- not to mention attempting to subvert the Constitution by abusing the powers of impeachment -- weren't enough, Barr is off on another witch hunt.

Literally.

The esteemed congressman from Georgia's seventh district has begun a campaign against something that may prove an even greater threat to national security than campaign cash from Chinese businessmen tied to the Red Army being pocketed by their own bagman:

Witches in the military.

No, I'm not making this up.

This one nearly slipped under even the Ampol radar, but one of our readers alerted us to a story from last week's Atlanta Journal-Constitution in which it was reported that during a speech in his home district, Barr had ranted about a base commander at Fort Hood in Texas allowing a Wiccan ritual on his base (Wicca is the correct term for traditional pagan witchcraft as a religion).

Now, slippery ol' Bob may be shocked to learn that Wicca is a constitutionally-protected religion -- afforded the very same rights that Pat Robertson variety of money-grubbing Evangelical Christianity is.

Here's part of Barr's tirade, quoted from the article: "Wicca threatened to erode military discipline ... and the First Amendment needed to take a back seat to that concern."

BushBaby agrees with Barr: "That's right! There ought to be limits to freedom."
Gee, he's beginning to sound like George W. Bush Jr., who recently said that "there ought to be limits to freedom."

But I digress.

Bobby boy, if you want a religion that erodes military discipline, then you'd best have a little chat with certain Christian preachers and televangelists who have injected politics into their polemic homilies, claiming that Clinton "does not have the moral authority to lead our nation."

That amounts to what is called promoting sedition -- which just night prove a bit more legally dicey than, say, a ceremony in praise of the Earth Goddess.

As if that weren't enough, born-again Puritan Barr actually claimed that elected officials should decide which religions could be practiced in the military!

Okay, Bob, we have a few words for you. Repeat after me: "Separation of Church and State." Got a problem with that? Sounds like you do -- based on your seeking to abrogate the rights of Americans on the basis of their belief systems and your own religious prejudice.

Barr had even introduced an amendment to the Defense Appropriations bill that would have outlawed both practice of Wicca on military bases -- but it was shelved faster than a liberal could hop on their broomstick and say, "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little amendment, too!"

You've really got to hand it to Barr -- it's as if he's actually looking for more reasons for everyone from Larry Flynt to The Doc to nominate the little guy for a Political Hypocrisy Lifetime Achievement Award!

With Barr paying close attention to such dangers to our liberty as witches in uniform, The Doc thinks that he should consider returning to his old career as a prosecutor, moving to Salem, Massachusetts, hiring some of Ken Starr's castoffs and start gathering tinder for a good bonfire or two. Clearly the Bobster considers the Wiccan menace a far greater threat to his constituents than, say, the more than 2,000 jobs that Lockheed Martin cut in his home district recently.

And if the voters back in Georgia are paying attention, Barr had best begin following the example of the Good Witch of Little Rock and begin to look for digs north of the Beltway in preparation for his new career.

'Nuff said.”

“Rad --

I just re-read your post . . .I comitted a grave mistake in misinterpreting your interest to "SEE PROOF" (emphasis mine).

My understanding from a brief read through some of the pieces is that the event was PHOTOGRAPHED . . .so there should be VISIBLE evidence of this heinous act being performed.

Please . . .let us all know if you find a picture. This type of immoral, hypocritical behaviour needs to be EXPOSED for the rest of us to enjoy, err, uh, SEE, no . . . uhm.... anyway, post the pictures!”

“b@@bies?!?!

COOL!

i'll be glad to help in the search, but i would never call a site like ”

“
No soup for you!”

“oopsy!

what i was saying was that i would not call a site like...

THIS

...a source of proof.”

“What do you mean Rad? It's on the internet so it must be true.

PS. Please be sure to visit the "Elvis Lives" website for proof that Elvis is alive and well.”

“lee - Don't hold back! Say what you think!

Will Barr go the way of Newt? Maybe several of the other 533 elected congress-people could chime in who do not have as shady of a past as lee has spelled out.

Maybe Condit could write a book:

"How to Pick Up Younger Women"
"How to be Bi-coastal"
"101 Things to do with your Nectie"
"101 Things to do in Modesto"”

“NOw just hold on folks . . . .

Phil . . .I am NOT NOT NOT defending Conduit in any way, shape or form. If the various affairs that have been seemingly proven (Chandra Levy, The stewardess) and alledged (the 18 yr old ministers daughter) then for those alone he ought to go down in flames. If he was stupid enough to be involved in the dissappearance then he deserves whatever the appropriate criminal sentence is.

Conduit is a womanizing jerk, potential a criminal womanizing jerk.

Bob Barr is a whole 'nother case. Without (as of yet, as far as we know)actually being a criminal, He is a repugnant, obnoxious, hypocritical, loudmouth, assine, stupid, pea brained moron. For me, he represents the absolute bottom of the barrel of American politics. He reflects poorly on his district, the State of Georgia, the Congress, the United State and the whole human race.”

“Rad--

That was just the first peice i came to the was easy to cut and paste. There were many more hits on the search, probably some from more reputable sources. It seems, from the varied sources and number of hits, that Barr hasn't gone to great lengths to pratice what he and his other moral right wing sh!t slinging buddies preach.”

“i won't believe it until i see the photo!!!

hee hee!”

“It was referenced in a lot of reputable news sources but this was the closest I could find:

”

“lee - No problemo! I didn't interpret your comments as ignoring Condit's behavior. I don't know anything about Barr other that what you have said. If it is true, then I would like to replace him also--regardless of ideology.

I just thought of another book title for Gary:

"A Cabana Boy Goes to Washington"”

“American Politics...
You have hippocritical Right wing religious fanatics on the right.

You have lying, socialist, tax n' spen liberlas on the left.

It's a no win situation!

I like McCain, lets get more guys like him in office!”

“WHOLLY MATRIMONIAL
Al Kamen
Washington Post Staff Writer
May 29, 1996; Page A17

Problem is, you have to pay to read the article!”

“I think this Congressman Condit guy is totally awsome. From what I understand, those women are either lying, or forced themselves upon me, errrrrr, him.

All I am saying, is give Gary a chance.”

“Gary,

What's up? Me and the boys were wondering that since you might not have too much going on this weekend (you know, with Chandra out of the picture and that stewardess busy giving interviews), if you wanted to go bar hoppin' and show us how an old fart like you can pick up all those hot cuties. You know, sort of like a horn dog in training session. We'll go to dark, out of the way places that don't require ties (in fact, we'd prefer that you leave the ties at home).

P.S. Maybe your Hell's Angels buddies can give us a few tips on bike maintenance”

“Baso4, as part of a public service, I'd be happy to go trolling with you. First thing you need to pick up young ho's is to be a snappy dresser, like me. Then you need to get some serious "closer" lines, like: I am a U.S. congressman, wanna f@#k? You have to watch though, because if they get attached to you, ya gotta kill em' or send em' back to their sorority.
I'd be happy to make you my wingman.”

“Ya shore got a purdy face!
Gary C
And durn patriotic, too!
And glad ta see you support missing chiluns.”

“I sh!t you not, the only link still available at Gary's site is for Intern Opportunities

Be sure to apply!”

“Heading for Inter Opportunities on Gary's site reads: "Whether interning in Modesto, Merced, or Washington D.C., working in one of Rep. Condit's offices can be an extremely rewarding experience. Typical duties of Interns can range from assisting with phone's to researching legislative projects.

If you would like additional information on interning for Rep. Condit, please fill out and submit the following form. "

"Extremely rewarding experiance"?lol”

“It actually looks more and more like a seriel killer with two other interns gone missing in the past two years, or they were old girlfriends of condits???”

“Nymphomanical Jill,
Used a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.”

“There was a Congressman from Modesto,
that had a great fondness for fellatio.
But this contemptuous prick,
made the American people sick
and now his career is finito.”

“This just in: Congressman Gary Condit held a press conference on Capitol Hill and admitted that he had an affair not only with missing intern Chandra Levy but also Monica Lewinsky, as well as comedian Paula Poundstone. "I have an uncontrollable desire for young, Jewish interns and I intend to seek help. As for Paula, I don?t know what I was thinking except that I wondered why she showed such little interest in me and kept asking about my kids," a grim-looking Condit told a throng of reporters gathered outside his congressional office. Lewinsky, reached in New York where she is selling her own line of handbags as a street vendor, confirmed that she secretly dated Condit after her affairs with former President Clinton and Jesse Helms ended. "Gary helped me forget about the creeps who dumped me," she said. Condit said he will seek professional counseling to recover from his addiction which psychologists termed JIS or Jewish Intern Syndrome.”

“Sounds like Congressman Condit could use a Smagh!”

“What is it with interns anyway? I don't get it.

His office is right around the corner from mine. It's a circus over there. Literally... tents, and clowns. Ok, just tents, reporters, and people wanting to get on tv. No clowns. Well...except Condit.”

“Gordon said that Guilty, errrr gary Condit is responsible for the recent outbreak of shark attacks. This may be true, but I think it is all the liberal wacko enviromentalists who protected the sharks and allowed their population to grow so large that they need to seek humans as food.

BTW - OJ lives in Southern Florida, did anybody check to see if he was scuba diving this weekend? Maybe the sharks are innocent?”

“I've heard some of the shark attacks may be the result of wacko tour boats dumping bloody fish into the water to attract sharks for tourist morons. This is often done near the coast (where swimmers are), if I remember correctly. After the Pensacola attack I read that the Florida legislature was considering a bill to stop these idiots. Did it pass?”

“Steve - they want to pass a bill to stop the dumping of fish! Gimme a break. Think about it, they want to pass a bill to make tour boats who cater to tourists to stop dumping fish in the water to attrack sharks for the tourists pleasure, all to save other tourists from getting their legs snapped off. Cost to taxpayers - Lobbyist payoffs $100,000, legal help - $500,000, Time spent on "studying the issue" - $100,000, Sceintific report on impact of fish in water with sharks - $1,000,000 - Enforcement of the law - $200,000, Signs - $2,000, union labor to put up signs - $98,000& time. Total - $2,000,000

Post a sign on the beach - ENTER WATER AT OWN RISK. Cost - about $100 + $2,000 union labor = $2,100”

“Yeah BB ... right. Sheesh, the wacko views you see on TT.”

“They aren't dumping fish -- They're dumping uncounted ballots from black precincts.”

“Jeb sure did come through for his brother and the Nation. Didn't he Gordo.”

“Is it just me, or has anyone noticed how Condit's lawyers keep making him look like a real jerk? (Maybe when you are a big enough jerk no one can save you).”

“My lawyers keep making me look like a jerk too.”

“I bet he's glad the media is finally off his back.”

“Who?”

“Maybe he's in cahoots with the hijackers.”

“He showed up at the religious service at noon on Friday, where Bush spoke. The radio report simply said that he was there and they were somewhat surprised.”

“Yes, but pitty the poor 5th grader who picks up a stick on the playground, points it at someone, and says, "Bang! Bang!" They'll arrest him!!”

“Up in Canada, some kid pointed a chicken wing and said, "Bang, bang". He got 2 days off (suspension), lucky kid. Lol”

“Up in Canada, some kid pointed a chicken wing and said, "Bang, bang". He got 2 days off (suspension), lucky kid. Lol”

“Oops.”

“stanlee - Watch where you point that thing!”

“Gosh, did I not make this point a few days ago in the "levity" thread?? yup!”

“I was a lunch lady for three years, directed to drag any kid who played cops and robbers or Army to the principal's office. I never did. Just took them aside and told them they needed to save that for after school, they would get in trouble if anyone else saw 'em.”

“Phil, can't help it...it has a mind of it's own. hee hee
Geez, Joy, those PC fanatics were at it 3 years ago? Pretty soon you won't be able to run your fingers in your hair, for fear of offending someone.”

“I saw him last night as I was walking my dog, eating dinner at a restaurant about 100 yards from my house. He appeared to be talking shop with his political advisors who had mounds of paper scattered about. My girlfriend told me while we were on a previous walk that she thought she had seen him in there but I pooh-poohed her. He was trying to be non-descript with his back sorta to the window and everything. The funny thing was, he was dressed down and wearing a black NORTH FACE fleece jacket!”