Just for the pun of it

“If punks and pundits don't like this pungent humor, PUNT.”

“Rad don't put DesCartes before de horse, you're only Hume an you need some praxis to get better Marx. Try to find some interesting Engles, or take your car for a Spinoza, go to a mall and Schopenhauer or two for some gear.”

“jamaica me sick. i congo anywhere i want! uganda some nerve. uraguay off base! oman, i haiti when iraq up a few good ones, only to be told that i canada do it.”

“You guys are too punny.”

“If you think my puns are Lao Tse, get the Hayek out of Hare. Foucault!!”

“This punishment must cease. As I warned my young male child about puns,"Don't you SEA Son, we will winter more problems as new puns SPRING forth. And the wise will FALL because they will find that SUMM'R Smarter than others.”

“It's invenereal to ME, as far as I'M circumcised...”

“Let's leave fuego on a fuego thread please.”

“chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, it doesn matter, shadoobie, my brain's been battered”

“lol @ nimrod”

“A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over,"Hey...i must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here other than us." "It's the peanuts" answered the bartender. "Say what?" "You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts... they're complimentary."”

“Name of the guy who can't swim......





Bob”

“What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?





Russel”

“Yeah that was my next one.. Probably my favorite of the lot...

The guy who prays all of the time.......




...neil”

“Did you ever notice: When you put the two words together,The and IRS it spells
Their's”

“if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea ,does that mean that one out of five enjoys it ?”

“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.”

“There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.”

“A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"”

“A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm staph.'”

“A handlebar mustache may look ridiculous, but symmetrical eyelashes are even cilia.”

“All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.”

“Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma", said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "that'll be ... one blood and one blood lite..."”

“So, this skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop."”

“Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
last edited: 3/29/12 6:57:04 AM”

“And finally;

There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.”

“I WIN!.....I DID Win didn't I?....c'mon, c'mon, waddid I win, huh?...Waddid I win?!”

“I think you did”

“When is a door not a door?







When it is a jar.”

“Mr. mushroom asked MIss Dandelion out on a date. She said no. I don't understand he exclaimed.....I'm a fungi”

“OMG, eh?

Blood Lite wins, IMO.”

“"Even cilia?"

Groan...”

“What did the Buffalo say to his son as he left for college?



Bye son.”