squat like this

“God made rocks.
God also made fallen trees.
God also made stumps.
I walk around.
I look for rocks placed only so far from each other.
Let's see.....
Hmmmmm....
Place one cheek on one rock and one cheek the other (how big is your arse?).
How far from the ground is your arse?
You do this right and you'll never have to squat.”

“wow! bonzai is a honey!”

“Yup. I'll have to agree. She's pretty cute.

I love red hair.. :-)”

“...and her skin is so soft and fair...

yep! i'm excited!”

“NO NO NO!
You squat like "this"!”

“Get down you mangy dog!!!! Not you sara, I was talking to the raddamuffin.”

“hmmmm...Bonzai is definitely a looker. Bonzai, what part of Oregon you at?”

“I know! But I can't tell.. ;-)

You should've seen the other pictures she sent me in email.. *purr* Definitly looking forward to meeting her.

Now I just need to find a way to ditch the wife for a day.. hmm..

SAR.. you gonna be in pdx this weekend? There's a beer fest going on that we're going to. Wanna go? Its much funner in a group (that way we can stake out a table and have atleast one person there watching it)”

“Halloooo squatters!!

I see that you're all up to your usual shenanigans. Carrying on the torch, so to speak!

SARboy (btw, I remember your pics from your last big trip - beauty, and great campsite you had! And an encounter with a projectile-vomiting female, too!) I'm in Eugene. Ya gonna come on down for some suds? It'd be awfully fun!

Windy, now, don't be jealous. There's enough for all, and...the more the merrier!! ;-)~

Any of you like to kick hackey sack?

Rad, I saw your new pic - what a widdle cuddly wuzzy wizard you are.”

“I've attempted it.. not very good at it, and often find myself at the center of laughter, but I kick the blasted thing occasionally. :-)”

“I've tried to Bonzai but I end up looking like a spastic hampster (hence my nickname). Any pointers on kicking that thing?”

“Practice, practice, practice!!! I tried once a few years ago and just got so frustrated and discouraged. Then, I met this guy who could kick pretty well (he works in the warehouse here) and he was actually an inspiration to me. I had already had a desire to learn how to kick, though, so that coupled with someone to show me and play with me helped me a lot. I practiced a lot by myself, every day and lost poundage as a result (you may be surprised at how sore you can get from picking up the ball a gazillion times for yourself - even works your abs a bit too!)

It really is a lot of fun and it's pretty addicting. I like the social aspect of the game, and the skill and balance..it's kind of zen. There are some pretty talented people out there who are SO tricky. It's pretty prevalent in Eugene; there's a couple of clubs, both net and freestyle.

Start with just one leg, doing a front kick with the inside arch of your foot, that's the easiest, then just start learning other simple kicks. It's just fun and I usually end up laughing a lot.”

“Oh yeah -
For #1, I spread-squat like "this".
For #2, I hunch-squat like "this".”

“I find the tallest tree that I can and set a paper bag under it then when i get to the top and hold on to a tree branch and i let it rip and see if i can make it in to the bag.”

“I'll hold the bag for ya!

arooooooooooooo!”

“Oh my god, you're all hilarious.

One thing about hackey sack: before I started kicking, I could never have squatted like 'that'; my knees would have screamed in protest. Hackey sack is great for strengthening. In fact, it was 'invented' for knee rehab. It works.”

“Bonzai, I've been playing footbag for 10 years now. It is great exercise and good for your balance. I never have been too interested in learning the "tricks." But I can play with the best of them. I can do some elementary stuff like catch it on my toe and side kick catch. I guess I'm best at "saving" the footbag. Never count it down before it hits the ground when I'm kicking, because I can stretch my long legs further than what you might think! (having big feet is also a help - lol)”

“I thought that hackin' was derived from the ancient Chinese game of shuttlecock. The shuttle is a hacky with a couple of tail feathers. The object of the game is to volley the shuttle back and forth over a net without touching it with your hands.

These guys are a cross between Pele and Mary Lou Rettin!”

“Hmm...projectile vomiting woman...don't seem to recall that one. Bonzai, I'm up in Tacoma, WA, so Eugene is a bit of a run for some suds, and alas, I have a hike this weekend so can't make the brewery festival. I will be going through Eugene on the 18th or 19 of Aug (haven't decided exactly what day yet) on the way to the Llama Trip #2. It's been a long time since I've been in Eugene (and actually stopped for more than gas). Wouldn't mind seeing it again.

I do kick the hackey sack...over people heads, and I can even chase it pretty well!”

“This is typical.

In my own clumsy way I try to help a few people who can't quite find comfort with themselves in unfamiliar surroundings.

bonzai shows up and all of the sudden squat thrusts and hackey sacks are the coolest. Pinching a loaf is aerobic fun.

Something stinks about all this.”

“bacpac, you may be cute and fuzzy, but bonzai is a honey. and like bocephus said...”

“My name is Bocephus, I drink whisky by the gallon,
I never back down and I love a good challenge.
What I do now is what I did then,
I like to get down with ALL my rowdy friends!”

“well, while i agree with it, that's not the quote i was thinking of.”

“Hellooo all you merry pranksters! When I come here to chat I feel like I'm a part of Robin Hood's motley crew or something.

bacpac - you will always be the champ loaf pincher in my book, toots.

Hey SARboy - I definitely got someone else's story mixed up with you! Now who was that? He posted pictures on PhotoSomething and wrote us all about his trip to Yellowstone....huh. Well I can hold my beers, I won't puke on ya; if you cruise through town stop and have a micro with me. You can email me, just click on Bonzai.

How are all you ruffians this fine friday morning!

Toenail - cool, you kick?!

I heard hackey sack has roots in China, yes, but I also know someone who personally knows the 'inventor' of the hackey sack/footbag as we know it now. He probably got the idear from overseas.

rad, are you talkin' bout tears in your beers?”

“no, hot buttered bonzai. bacpac knows the quote.”

“DOH! He he he!

Hank Williams Jr. has a song about ME?!”

“no, i was calling you "hot buttered bonzai". like.... a pet name. toots, honey, babe.”

“Sigh..and I thought I could collect royalties ;-)”

“i'm 'lord degenerater'. is that royalty?”

“Genuflection is certainly in order on that count.”

“while you're down there.... ahem....”

“Euwww, Rad! Polishing the shoe of a degenerate royalty-monger from all the bullsh!t he's standing in isn't my idea of a good time!”

“i was thinking along the lines of a 'lump in the throat'. not nigal's kind. LOL!!!!”

“I think the only lump in throat around here is the foot that's lodged in your own, big fat LOL, nyahhhhh.

I like being in the brigade here. You people are relentless. Ya bring out the fiesty irreverence in me.”

“who's foot? LOL!!!!”

“Oh geez.. this is degenerating faster than a hot fudge sunday on the streets in phoenix.”

“Relentless? Us? Nawwwwww, not us.

By the way Bonzai, that was a great postition for a pic;-) Certainly came in handy for demo purposes.”

“fudge?!?!

on the street?!?!

how appropriate!”

“The position is certainly funny, but I like the mischievous look on her face. There are other words that I could use to describe that look.”

“hey bonzai... you've got the squat down!!! It is good to know what you look like becaus enow I'll know you if I see you in town... I really don't know how to get a pic of me on the web or I would post one. I tis great to know what people look like when you talk to them... but sometimes it's fun to make it up in your head...te he...”

“Yeah, I know! For instance, if arc's pic wasn't already up, I'd think 'bullfrog' from all the cracks he's made about his legs ;-) Hey, arc! How's it going?

...what look? (innocently asked) Bonzai, mischievous?!

I could help ya get a pic up Maurie, maybe we can work on that.”

“sounds good bonz... especially now that I have threatened to exhibit my trail art!”

“In the winter time my "friends" invented this little game called. "Hit the squatting man's genitals with a snowball" Taking a crap with these guys is like a bad episode of "the fugitive"
they will track you through 500 yards of snowdrifts in subzero conditions at 3am even though you steal the batteries out of their flashlights and hide their boots. Next year I'm taking an enema before the hike and eating 2 pounds of cheese on the trail. If only I had a smaller target.....”