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It's Official, I'm Disabled.
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“After reviewing fresh x-rays of my knees, my Internist finally signed my Application For Disabled Person Parking Permit Placard. She refused to sign eight years ago, when an orthopedic surgeon wanted to replace both knees.
Now I can park right in front of the Physical Fitness Club, when I go there for workouts, swimming, aikijutsu classes, etc. No more long walks into Walmart. And, best of all, some of the parking areas at trailheads have handicap parking close to the trail. Oh, and there are some nice sites in some campgrounds for the handicapped. O boy, this will be like starting a new life.
Actually, I have found myself walking longer distances to use a ramp instead of climbing a small curb. Most of my backpacking has been to lose weight and to strengthen my leg muscles. I always can do better after a trip than previously.
I talked about my poor short-term memory. She wants me to take a memory test soon. It turns out that there is medicine that can help, as long as one does not let it go too long. This was interesting and I plan to research it.”
“Forget about your knee problems and you'll do fine!
Enjoy the new "blue" status. At least you can still get around.”
“NS, I have a cousin who was recently diagnosed w/ alzheimers (not saying you have the same mind you), and was so bad before meds that he had to be walked through setting a table step by step. He's been on medication for a few weeks and is so improved he's back to work as an engineer! Modern medicine is amazing.
The key was getting treatment early. You are smart to look into memory loss.”
“When I had my broken leg, I hobbled past lots of people with handicapped tags using handicapped spots who showed no signs of a physical disability. It did not seem to affect the SOBs in the least, either, that I was hobbling past their cars.”
“ok, i'm a little confused...NS, i'm not trying to insult you and in no way mean any disrespect cause i don't know your whole situation but i'm scratching my head on this one.
if you back pack and hike why would you need a handicapped spot? Congratulations on getting something you've been trying to get, I know from family members how hard it can be to get something like that.”
(this has to be a joke ... handicap pass for parking at trail heads!?!?!?!?!?)”
“I think NS's tongue was firmly in his cheek. Newbies need to learn to recognize the sarcasm font.”
“Since I am handicapped for now, I sure hope it's a joke. Speaking of jokes, I made this one up when I first became "disabled". I've got it hanging on the wall by my desk...
“There are handicapped trails in National Parks and Forests - wheelchair ramps, etc.
My favorite is the Braille Trail on Massanutten Mountain in the GW National Forest.”
“it's been a running joke with my friends that when we get to a parking lot at a trail head someone always says "park close to the trial, i don't feel like walking"...ahhh, gotta love the classics”
“We have a few handicapped trails out here too. Pavement is much easier on my walker than uneven dirt/rocks. :-)”
“i like the trails with escalators ;)”
“There's a great paved loop at Hartwick pines in Gaylord, MI. It goes about two miles through a virgin white pine forest. It's beautiful. When it was first paved it bummed me out (used to be wood chips and dirt and pine needles) but I now think it's great that more folks can enjoy the place.”
“Aww.. come on Paul.. truth is?.. you can outhike most of us.”
“I was hiking with a friend in Shenandoah National Park years ago, and the A Trail was asphalted through a picnic area. We envisioned big green signs: "Appalachian Trail - Keep Left; Local hikers - Keep Right."”
“That's amazing Sass about your friend's medications!
Geobeet, no sheet! When I was hobbling around with my bad foot and then the knee, I had to park so far away and watched perfectly able (yet senior citizen) folks who had parked in the disabled spots breeze past me on the way to the front door of the supermarket.
A lot of times too, they give family members of "disabled" people those passes too. Then the perfectly able bodied family members are lazy and use the spot even though the disabled person isn't with them.
It cracks me up when I see seniors with canes who aren't even using them. It's like at one point their doctor thought they should use it, they get better, and they are afraid to give it up. What a pain it must be to carry a cane around all the time. LOL!”
“Thanks for your comments. Some of them are very informative.
Sassafras - I will be checking on this mental deal. At first, it was only one of many reasons for getting a parking permit: "Let's see, where did I park the car?"
Geobeet - People may wonder about me, too. But you can not always tell what kind of problems a person may have. And I believe many drivers use their spouse's parking permit.
timecline - I have had trouble just carrying groceries from the car about six feet into my trailer. One knee has no lifting power at all. This doctor would not sign for a permit unless she was quite sure. She said I can have the knee replaced anytime I'm ready.
Sarge - I saw a picture labeled, "Only In America." It showed a Physical Fitness" place on the second floor of a building. A stairway led up the second floor and on each side of the stairs was an escalator. I'll get you a picture of one such parking area. It's at GSMNP, Deep Creek. They have handicap access trails there to some waterfalls.
Hikin Mike - Thanks, I love it.
Geobeet - I met a guy on the AT who built Braille Parks so that these people could get hands on experience with trees, etc.
For me, walking on most trails is much easier than walking on a hard surface. I had to walk about four blocks Monday and it was murder. That was when I decided to push for a disabled parking permit again.
last edited: 7/27/05 12:41:38 PM”
This is a work of satire
“Please take it as such and enjoy...
July 14, 2056 MT. KATAHDIN, MAINE (AP) - The covering of last few miles of the Appalachian Trail was completed today, as the covered escalator to the summit of Mt. Katahdin in Maine was officially opened.
"Now, literally anyone can thru-hike the AT," said Bert Beeterman, official with the US National Park Service. "The entire trail is covered over, and except for a few spots where it was impossible to reduce, there is no more than a 2% grade. And, like here at Katahdin, we have installed these nifty escalators. The best part about it is that you don't even really have to go outside anymore! And if you're in a motorized wheelchair, you need only
stop at one of our convenient hostel/resupply/recharge stations which are placed every mile or so along the route, and you can recharge your battery. And with the integral wireless Yottabit Ethernet, there's no reason not to be online the entire time you're on the trail!"
There was a small group of dissenters, however, on hand to protest what they were calling "The Taming of the Appalachian Trail". Smelling strongly of body odor and wearing strange "weatherproof" clothing, they held up signs saying "Keep the AT wild!" and "It's supposed to be a footpath, not a roadway!"
Mr. Beeterman shrugged off their comments, saying that it was merely a group of anti-government agitators interested only in their own agenda. "I also understand that many of them are, well, against disabled persons using the trail at all, at least if I understand their 'footpath only' rhetoric properly," added Mr. Beeterman. "With 34% of the American public officially disabled, it would be unseemly to deny use of an Official National Park to such a large portion of the citizenry of this country."
When asked how the the NPS was able to build such a structure in Baxter State Park, where such development was banned by the Baxter's original grant agreement to the State of Maine, Mr. Beeterman just smiled and said, "Two words, Eminent Domain," and added no other comment.
The first hiker to use the escalator to the top of Mt. Katahdin was Casey Moore, a 19-year-old Sophomore from the University of Western Bronx. When asked how he felt about completing the goal of becoming a thru-hiker of the Appalachian Trail, he stated, "Appalachian Trail? Is that what this is? I was touring the zoo at Bear Mountain 3 months ago and I took a wrong turn, got separated from the tour group, and ended up here! It's been a lot of fun though, and I didn't even miss out on any classes because I was doing distance learning anyway." He stopped for a moment, leaned over to take a drink out of one of the many water fountains installed along the route, then spoke again. "I really liked all the hostels too. So comfortable and warm." Any complaints? "No, not really. I got a blister and that hurt, but nothing major." Where, on your foot? "Oh heck no, on my right thumb. I spent a whole day playing Gran Turismo 76 at one of the hostels, on its Playstation Platinum 93, and because the direct brain interface was broken, I had to actually use a handset to play the game. That was hard! It sucked too, for my thumb to hurt like that."
As Mr. Moore stepped onto the escalator to ascend Mt. Katahdin, the group of protestors grew louder and more shrill. Shouts of "Faker!" and "Yellow-blazer!" were heard as he rode the escalator on its slow journey to the top. When he returned, he seemed distressed.
"It was...weird. There's a little place up there, that's actually outside. I was afraid to go at first, but that's where the big sign is, so I went out there. Then I realized I could see really far, not like a few hundred meters, but maybe even for kilometers. It made me feel small, like a bug. Like, maybe I'm not the only reason the world exists after all." Then, Mr. Moore began to cry.
When asked about why there was still a part of the AT outside, Mr. Beeterman sighed loudly and motioned to the protestors. "Well, we had to throw them a bone, so the Katahdin sign and the plaques on Springer Mtn. in Georgia are actually still outside. We had to give them something so we could completely cover the rest of the trail. We wanted to re-route it away from the wilderness and through most of the Eastern urban zone, but they wouldn't let us do that either. Unfortunately, they seem to have Justices Mitchell and Brockman in their back pocket, for some reason."
At this point, Mr. Beeterman had to terminate our conversation so he could wheel over to a maintenance station, for his life-support machinery's daily preventive maintenance. But one could still tell he was proud of what he had done, making the Appalachian Trail accessible, even to a disembodied head like himself.”
“Good one, bitpusher. And we need more super highways to make the wilderness more accessible.”
“Careful NS, Norman Mineta might get hold of this.”
“funny one bit...sounds like something from the onion...was it?”
“lol, no, I wrote that.”
“you've got waaaay too much time on your hands...go hiking”
“Way funny BIT!!!!!
NS...ya going to come to TC5???.....and will you carry my pack for me????
“Ha! for you, an old married woman!
Bought my tag, $1.50 for four years. It's great. I tried it out. I parked legally right in front of the door at the local pool hall. I'm going to enjoy this new life.
last edited: 7/27/05 3:33:16 PM”
“yo bitpusher - be sure to put a copy of that over on Whiteblaze in the Humor section - sure to generate a few laughs/groans”
“lol...but I'm afraid of death threats...lol...”
“Hoe embarrasing for some tough in the pool hall. He bets Paul for a game. Paul wins. Said tough refuses to pay, because he sees where Paul parked. Paul breaks out ajitsu and mr. tough has his ass handed to him.”
“The 'Handicapped' rules must be quite different here in MS. Most of the women in my office now have 'Handicapped' permits. They found a Dr. that signs then up if they are overweight.
So, all the fat women are getting even more fat because they have all the prime parking spaces right next to the building.
last edited: 7/27/05 4:38:59 PM”
“OK I did it. lol...”
I gotta find a sign to put
in front of my trailer.
last edited: 7/27/05 4:48:46 PM”
“Aw, stovey, the fatter they get, the less they have to have sex with their husbands. Give 'em a break.”
“My brother in law is in pharmeceutical sales. He calls on OBGYN offices. The nurses tell him some rather disgusting fat woman stories.”
“Hey, at least they probably don't have to deal with "sootikins" too often...”
“They, let's not turn this into a bash fat women thread.”
“good luck, NS... hope all goes well with your memory testing.”
“I think a great deal of folks with handicap oermits should be ASHAMED of themselves. I see about 1 in 50 that actually appears to need it. Half these people might need it for a family member but that person either doesn't ride with them OR get out of the vehicle. People with permits that don't actively need them are low indeed.”
I'm ASHAMED and love it.
“Snif, snif, I guess I'm supposed to feel low. I'll admit that I did feel a little guilty last night parking right in front of a physical fitness facility, while I went to Aikijutsu Class. Especially so, since another close-in spot not restricted to handicapped was available. But at night most of the handicapped spots remain empty, so this way two of us were able to park close to the door. Ha, so I did a good deed!
catskhiker - No argument. We have all made those observations. However, you can't always tell a book by the cover.
last edited: 7/28/05 6:58:46 AM”
“Are you serious nowslimmer?
You hike, and you actually use your handicapped parking permit?”
quotes from above posts
“Sarge - "I have had trouble just carrying groceries from the car about six feet into my trailer. One knee has no lifting power at all. This doctor would not sign for a permit unless she was quite sure. She said I can have the knee replaced anytime I'm ready."
"Actually, I have found myself walking longer distances to use a ramp instead of climbing a small curb." (This applies to both up and down the curbs.)
I hike slowly and do a lot of negotiating with the trails and with things that are no obstacle to others.
last edited: 7/28/05 7:32:03 AM”
“I guess my fake news story was so funny it brought down Whiteblaze.”
“What a guy!”
“It's still down. Hmmm.”
“congrats NS! - Buddha Bear
The goal of a liberal: Incompetance.”
“If you're directing that at me, just wait until I get my knee braces on! <<Stumbles across the room, saying, "If I could only remember where I put them.">>
last edited: 7/28/05 8:53:42 AM”
“Wow! Handicapped parking speeds up my shopping providing more time for TT.”
“Paul, now you can get yourself a big ass Ford F-350 extended bed dual cab diesel truck and park at Wal-Mart and take up HALF the parking lot !!!!!
Oh... and wear those big plastic shades over your glasses as you drive 10 mph on US1.
ha ha ha ha ha ha”
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