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“Yah, I'd probably be pretty tasty wrapped in turkey breast and mayo.”
“Though you'd prolly need basting now you've lost all that weight Bit.”
“No, believe me, there's still plenty of bit fat for gravy.”
“Turned out to be nuttin. Barb used John's cell phone to call her nail girl. Apparently forgot that 767-blah blah is her nail girl's number. Apparently forgot that her name is Lisa. Barb made call in middle of nowhere. Lisa had no idea what was said on voice mail.”
“[rolling my eyes]
Oh for crying out loud!!!”
“bit, you may taste good in a turkey wrap with mayo, but I don't think you want to be "bit" into, lol:)”
“So, TD, exactly when was your MIL's lobotomy?”
“And the name of Lisa's all over creation is taken in vain.
*mad icon here, with foot pounding on floor and hands on hips*
“OK, but why was your MIL's nail lady leaving you DIL a voicemail? The voicemail said, "John, you can call me anytime..." It didn't say, "Barb, got your call even though it was on your husbands phone..."”
“Easy.. she had no idea what the VM from MIL said.. so Lisa called John's cell phone back to ask what he needed.. she got John's answering machine.. that said.. this is John.. blah blah.. not knowing who John was.. she said.. "Hi John, this is Lisa.. you can call me back anytime."
“Ahh, that makes sense. On the surface it didn't sound good. Glad all is well on the homefront.”
“Hey, the lady had to follow up on the call. If she didn't, there would always be some kind of doubt. It sounded like a call from a hooker. I don't blame her for checking it out.
I hope she didn't enter into a contract with her husband, like if she finds that the call was innocent, she has to serve him breakfast in bed every morning.”
“I don't think there's a way you can spin this story such that TD's MIL doesn't look like a whacko, sorry, lol...”
“John doesn't even know Barb came to Deb to start this whole cycle. He has no idea.
When I heard about the "end" I was ticked, saying "This is how vicous stuff gets started you guys. My gosh, I'm glad John don't know."
To which wife replied, "hey, see there -- I'm not the only woman who checks out suspicious stuff. All women do it."”
“I love how she extrapolated "her and her mother" to all women. That's just great.”
“If my wife checked up on all the shady stuff I did she'd probably divorce me.
For being so damn boring. lol.....”
“Whenever my wife makes a joke about cheating or three-ways I tell her, "I have all I can handle disappointing ONE woman!".”
“Ahhhhhh, I feel so good about being single sometimes.”
“A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.
"Oh Honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."
Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?”
“... and ...???”
“For being married to a whacko?”
““Your horse called!””
“Checking out suspicious things, it's a must.
I may be wrong, but unless you are totally blindsided, I think women think more about that their man might cheat where men can't concieve of their woman doing that so I think women probably get away with cheating more than a man might.”
“I've learned thru life, that if someone is incapable of trusting you, that someone is not to be trusted in return.
ie, they KNOW they aren't trustworthy, so they can not trust others.”
“Stove, for me, I trust my husband, but I would not turn a blind eye to what looks suspicious, but you may have a point there.
Then again, some men, if hurt or cheated on just once can't seem to get over it and think every woman after that will cheat on them where I think woman tend to move on even though we were deeply hurt too.
I'm always ready to give another (new) person a chance. If I didn't, that would mean I let that last bad seed change my personality to be an untrusting person.”
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