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Curse of the NJ Devil (that ass!): Pine Barrens TR
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Whaaaaaa....what a cry baby
“Your trip report is annoying and childish…not to mention ill-willed.
When you and your friends first showed up, I thought that after getting my beauty sleep I would make a special appearance, you know, let you get to know me – get to see what I’m about – that just because I’m a monster doesn’t mean that I don’t need friends too – someone to understand me…I digress. However, because of your moaning & snoring (how rude, and you call me an a$$) all night long, I decided to curse you all instead.
It should be noted that I am a serious monster and live in the Pine Barrens to scare people, not perform for the camera or whine about what someone or something else did that would give an audience something worth tuning in for. I could care less about that #&%!$ and after not getting my sleep and waking up with a horrible case of bed head and halitosis it became apparent that I would enjoy my time more if I stalked ahead and politely avoided sharing my comments (besides, this allowed me plenty of time to prepare to f*ck your sh*t up).
TO WHOMEVER COULD REALLY GIVE A BLOODY DAMN ANYWAY: it was I who broke the water pump, I who hid the sign, I who hexed the trail map, I who planted bloodsucking bugs along the trail, I who howled behind that particularly loud woman’s head and I who scratched at the moaning ones tent. All of this I did because I would hinestly have been happier just being mellow and not dealing with attention seekers – those who call themselves backpackers. Most lowly, vile, contemptible, smelly beasts.
So next time you want to call ME an a$$, why don't you look in the mirror and reflect on how much of an a$$ you are to others. Remember that pile of sh*t I left in the middle of the trail? Consider it an invitation to leave me alone and not offend me in the Barrens ever again - nanernanerbooboo.
And if you were scared about the skeewy lights near your headykins, moaning banshee creature, you shouldn't have decided to camp in my backyard. You know, I was there first and had found a really cool spot and wanted to hang out for a while, but noooooo – you had to hobble along and throw your stupid tent down in my spot! I won't bother reminding you of all the stories I’ve worked so hard to get out to the world so your kind would leave me the hell alone.
But you don’t see me getting all #&%!$y and self-righteous because you decided to trespass anyway.
Don't worry about it happening again or teaching me some lesson because I already learned the one worth learning and it absolutely will not happen again. I should have eaten you all like I wanted to (but I unfortunately got caught up in really good book – Good Night Moon) and I only contained myself from doing so later that night because you were so doused in alcohol and you sort of said “please, no, don’t eat me, I’m a nice little backpacker” – sheesh – enough to make me want to vomit. Disgusting creatures.
Anyway, I wish I could say I'm looking forward to more of your kind passing my way but only if you all come back and let me eat you.
This drama is BS!@#%$^$*(*!!!!
And I’m not an a$$ - just misunderstood.”
“OK, who's the wack-job?
Dang mapleleaf, do Jersey people really suck?”
“LMFAO @ the little wanker. hehehe”
“Maybe its One Inch Wang.”
“It's da debbil! Glad I was at Bobo's place, chillin in the pool!”
“Was it a dirty pool?”
“MarkO, I am profoundly shocked!”
“and another thing
WHERE IS MY BANANA?!?!?”
“Geobeet, let go of the electric cable.”
“Her Adorableness hijacked the banana truck to feed her monkeys.”
“ya'll got the same lovely weather it sounds. Maple, you could have brought your kayak out to the Loyalsock Trail. The trail itself became a river.”
“sounds like you kids had a good time.”
“NJ Devil (that ass)
your going to hell scorch...”
“hey guys! I am back! Dang traffic in Baltimore and DC...#&%!$....dang traffic all the way to Richmond...then the storm. Yeah, I stopped at my sister in law's house and drank a glas of wine before I went to bed.
This morning I took a detour to the REI in Cacy, NC :)
Took me a little longer, but I can't afford another speeding ticket. I hate VA!!! Cops and all!!
PhantomSoul: I decided to go on this trip because it's been a while since I have seen Maple and Scorch :)”
“VA State Police are the gestopo”
“glad to know you are home and safe Gemini.”
“Funny I've heard about the same about Ohio State Police.”
So which sucks more, Virginia or New Jersey?”
Have you looked at your water purifier yet?
The cartridge in my filter was a mess. The water dyed the cartridge. I tried pumping tap water through it last night and it came out that brownish color! And I can only get 1/2 the volume of water to move through it! I'm guessing sand got into it.
This trip really was the work of the Jersey Devil. I didn't believe it at first but, now I absolutely do :(”
“I am greatly offended that you....you...backpackers (barf!)...keep referring to me as an a$$. You keep this dramatic bull#&%!$ up and I will freakin' send the boogie man to all your homes and he will tear up your linens, destroy the rest of your "gear" and eat your pet birdies as a midnight snack.
You may apologise now. I'm waiting. Don't make me angry again.”
“ok I will say it first.
go sit on an thumb tack you freak of nature.
“Geez, why do you always have to be so mean? I was going to be nice to all of you but you had to snore SO LOUD all night long and keep me from my beauty sleep. You know, usually I'm quite the looker but everytime you humans come poking your noses into my business - you keep me awake with your noise and then I have to curse you and sometimes a really unflattering photograph is taken. It's really not fair. I'm quite the nice monster....really...you bully.”
“Mapes, the wanker has a point ...
... it may be on top of his head, but it's a point!”
“I have two points. I'm the jersey devil yo.”
“Doh, right! That wankerwiper appelation confuses folks. You should do something about that.”
“I'm also very clean. :)”
“That's what Nixon said.”
LMAO @ Scorchy
“I love your TR title. :-))
Too funny. I'm sorry you ladies had a lousy time. Hope your feet get well quick and you have some trips soon that MORE than make up for the bad time. That Jersey Devil has GOT to be an A$$. No way around it. He's been in NJ since the 1700's. Whaddya expect?!”
“Katiebear, I can't look inside my filter, but I did backflash it, did the bleach thing like instructed. then I tested it with the blue food coloring. Water came out clear. Just in case though I did buy a new cartridge at REI. I still think it now takes much more effort to filter the water though, but at least I can filter.
I normally do use a coffe filter to "prefilter" but forget them at home.
Actually the trip itself wasn't lousy, we did have a fun time.
Come on now...be honest!!!!! I think if we would've not planned it, it would've been better. Always is. :)
MarkO: VA sucks much more!!! MUCH, MUCH more!!!!!!!! Speed limit of 65 and cops on every freakn' corner. I think if I would've sit nekkid in that car, that dang cop would've not cared. No emotion, none!! I probably could've begged, but I didn't feel like kissing a$$!!!
Then on my way home I thought Well...I get my money back and play the lottery, then win the big million. Guess what? Freaking lottery lines were down, so I couldn't play either.”
“OK, I admit it. A lot of people in NJ are rude. They talk rude, they drive rude, they act rude. I think it's the fast paced overcrowded, live on top of one another thing that has people impatient with other people. But, there are also a lot of good people here. People that know how to keep things in perspective. Were not all bad.
[OK I'm off my soapbox now] LOL”
“Actually the trip itself wasn't lousy, we did have a fun time.
Come on now...be honest!!!!!
I did have a blast!”
“Scorch: I know you did! I really did too.
Hey Bobo...did you see... I flashed you!!!
Maple: I don't think I got into the tropical storm Alex, I think Alex is down in the Charlston, SC area. Whatever storm I got into...well it was bad enough for me to call it a night! I would've taken a hotel if I had to.”
“maybe the hotel number would have been 444 LOL”
“Fun trip report everyone, thanks for sharing.
"OK, I admit it. A lot of people in NJ are rude. They talk rude, they drive rude..."
People from Jersey are sketchy, you can't trust people who can't be trusted to pump their own gas.”
“yeah, plus, Jersians get lost when they don't have a traffic circle to go around.”
“hate those things”
“MAPLE AND GEM....
don't forget to NOT post certain pics on webshots.. but still email me them : )”
“i didn't forget. I'll post some right now (will take a while) I'll send you the link, let me know if there is one that you don't want on there.”
“can you email those pics to me too? :D”
I've been backflashed!
“No, I didn't see, but I heard, and my mind was probably racing as fast as your little illegal speed wagon!
yeah... let's see some pics!”
“"If Mr. Soul wasn't accounted for on the Loyalsoaker trip, I would've bet that he was the one following you in the Pines, making wierd noises and scratching at the head of your tent!"
Ok, let's get a couple things straight here:
1) Much to Bobo's disappointment, I am not the Jersey Devil. That is my evil twin brother. Please stop confusing us.
2) I am not WankerWiperJD [pause here for chuckles], although now that I see the name, I wish I was...”
“Oh, and what the hell is a left turn??? Is that like when you have to drive around the cloverleaf and wait at the same traffic light again???
“Oh, and about those NJ traffic circles, good luck figuring out when you have to yield and when not at 50 mph...”
“Looks like y'all did the route I was planning for November. That being said, what did you think of it? Do I need to change up the route any? I would love to mix in Apple Pie Hill, but that would leave us some insane distance between Apple Pie Hill and Lower Forge for that Saturday's hike...
Are we even still on for November?”
“The route is fine.. boring, but fine. Easy hike, the heat just slowed us down big time.”
“oh well, webshots sucks again!!”
okay, now I am getting mad...
can I not post a pictures from webshots anymore??”
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