Last day of a job

“You are never going back and they can't find you. What do you do?”

“Ask for my final paycheck.”

“Your paycheck is guarenteed. Comon, where's your sense of adventure???”

“Pretend it's Mardi Gras and flash your hooters.”

“Not even one darned sarcastic 'tell em to go take a hike!'??”

“Biz, you may think that you'll never cross paths with them again, but I've found out that it's a small, small world after all. So, bide your time, collect your paycheck, say thank you and leave like a professional.”

“what Savage said. In the world of humans...unless you are a creator of things...books, art, music..etc...the only thing you leave behind in the world is the memory you create. Leave out with dignity, and don't give anyone reason to think badly of you...

I try to do that, but sometimes I don't do as good a job as I wish I could. and I talk the talk, and don't always walk the walk, but...

I'm only a stupid man and am trying to learn and become less stupid. :-)”

“Never burn bridges jobwise unless you win the lotto.
Doesn't mean you have to kiss their a$$, just to be pro.
I worked for a real jerk of a corporation for a couple of years.
Left for a better paying job after they almost laid me off. A year later, for a hugh increase in pay I joined the outfit that oversees the contracts for the jerk company.
Work can run in some circles.”

“hugh=huge ;)”

“I knew a police officer who got a good job doing security work, and he went in and told his boss off with the classic line, "I wouldn't p#*s in your mouth if your face was on fire". Well the job didn't work out, and hat in hand, he came back three months later to ask for foregiveness and his old job back. His boss smiled, and politely said no way, and made a wise crack about how his face was on fire.

I wouldn't even tell my boss off if I won the lotto. An obnoxious guy at a spring company in Chicago always played the same numbers in the lotto and was always bugging whoever was reading the newspaper to read back the winning numbers. Well some wise guy put a new guy who had a newspaper to agree to read back his usual numbers and not the real winning numbers. When the obnoxious guy entered the room later, he asked the new guy reading the newspaper what the winning lotto numbers were. The new guy read back the planted numbers. Well the obnoxious guy, thinking he won the lotto, started running down the hall to the boss's office screaming, "F#*k this place, I quit, F#@k the boss, I quit." Someone finally stopped the obnoxious guy, but his boss heard rumors of what happened anyway.”

“I didn't know Tilt played the lottery.”

“Didn't you go through this same thing about a year ago?

I say you go to some place where they do science experiments on monkeys and apes. Kidnap a bunch of the animals and 'free' them in your old work place.”

“I'm usually crying, hugging people, and exchanging email addys/phone numbers. Sheesh, don't you people make friends?”

“Friends, what are those things?

lol....”

“Another vote for the theme that you never know when, hat in hand, you might need the old job back, or that it was better by far than the great new job you took to leave it, or when some other opportunity of a lifetime might evaporate because of intemperate remarks.

We had a boss leave with less than 24 hours notice to take a job with another newspaper chain. Our chain bought the chain he went to. When the CEO went to meet the new staff, he remarked, "Fred, you don't seem very happy!"”

“Be sure you grab a handful of pens.”

“A handful of what?”

“No, I didn't leave any letters out, Bit!”

“lol!!!”

“Dangit aero!!!! You stole my line!!!!”

“I have two stories from personal acquaintances.

1. From my General Motors days, one guy got transferred from a job and location he loved to a place he didn't want to go when his new divisional manager was a guy he had pissed off FIFTEEN years earlier when they were both lowly engineers.

2. One of my former students said she had a good laugh when she got hired as a manager for a company and one of the guys reporting to her was a guy who had been her boss at another company and had not treated her well. When he realized what had happened he looked like the deer in caught in the headlights.

3. From personal experience I got burned once. I was working for a non-profit corporation and we hired one of the board members to run a project (which we should never have done because it was a conflict of interest). We had to fire him from the project before it was over. A FEW MONTHS LATER HE GOT ELECTED CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD! I had to swallow my pride once and ask him for help. He very nicely told me to put it where the sun doesn't shine. That was one year of darkness in the organization because everyone kept their distance from him.”

“I was very unhappy at my former company (about 7 years ago), mostly because I felt (based on their own criteria) I should have been promoted or at least gotten a raise, so I went out and got a much better job (my current one). But I was very careful to not express any anger toward my employers. Didn't help, though, as they still did their best to try to screw me with various termination processes (which I never understood anyway - the only thing I ever did to them was make them more money!). The funny part was that I had a miniscule amount of company stock that I had received as a bonus a few years earlier, that they had to buy back. When people left, it was a pretty easy process for them to just buy it back. For really large holdings, they had a process in place to buy back the stock over a 5-year period (an intent that was verified by one of the "good" partners). But the president wanted to make me go through the 5-year plan for my couple hundred bucks worth of stock! No problem, I replied in a letter. But, since I would still be a stockholder for the next 5 years, they would have to allow me to come to their annual stockholder meetings, which I would definitely attend because I would be very concerned about the state of the company. They paid me for the full amount with a week.”

“with=within”

“Way to stick it to them.”