It's baseball season

“Why would anybody throw at Jim Thome? Is that pitcher nuts or what? Plunk Mr. All-Around Nice Guy? Jeez!”

“Harry Kalas, broadcaster, calls them "The Fightins." When they won the pennant in 1950, they were the Fighting Phillies.”

“Ah, thanks Geo.

My pa and I are going to the Rays/Yankees game a week from tomorrow. Woohoo! Though I lived in the NY area the past 5 1/2 years and rooted for the Yanks, I'm pulling for the Rays. Yep, they'll probably get spanked. The consilation though is that I have several Yankees on my fantasy baseball team (Clemens, Mussina, Giambi, Posada, B. Williams).”

“What? Jeter's not good enough for you?

So the Dildo Rays spanked the Fightin's again! Dayim!”

“The season is about to start. Opening for the Fightin's is Monday in Miami. Hard to believe it's here already.”

“I thought it was this Sat?”

“Our brand new ball park opens up Monday. It is going to be a big day in Cincinnati.”

“I dunno Geo. Losing to the Rays 8-0 cannot be good. ;-)”

“As reported in the Every Three Weekly:

Granholm Throws Ceremonial First Pitch, Is Named Tigers' Fifth Starter


Governor "throws like a girl," but is still better than Steve Sparks

In a shocking announcement on opening day, Detroit Tigers manager Alan Trammell named Jennifer Granholm as the team's fifth starter after watching the governor throw out the ceremonial first pitch.


"She's got quite an arm," said Trammell. "And by 'quite an arm,' I mean 'she sucks big-time, but she seems less sucky when compared to Steve Sparks.'"

Added Steve Sparks, "It's true. I really suck."

Granholm has already made a significant impact in the Tigers' locker room. "When this new player came in," said infielder Shane Halter, "I couldn't figure out why I was strangely attracted to this new pitcher. Then I found out she was a girl, and it was quite a relief. Hopefully me and Granholm will hit things off so I can finally stop sodomizing Craig Paquette."

Although Halter's comments could cause the Tigers to once again get in trouble for sexual harassment, outfielder Bobby Higginson says Granholm has nothing to worry about.

"Sexual harassment?" said Higginson. "I'd like to get sexual with her ass. Ment. If you know what I mean."”

“Watch paint dry--watch a baseball game?

I'll pick the paint maybe I'll get high off the fumes, no such luck with baseball.

J/K All baseball fans enjoy the games!”

“when do they start the talks about a strike this year?”

“LOL OPIE!”

“It's a very friendly game

link”

“treebeard-I had a date like that once! j/k”

“Hahahahaha...

Funny pic though, isn't it, Tang?”

“Dangit! Geo's Phightin' Phils just no-hit my Giants!!”

“I didn't see any of it but I was pretty excited when I heard the news!

We Phillies fans have endured enough pain...maybe we'll have a good year this year.”

“Yeah, Millwood was trying to talk to his teammates and they wouldn't talk to him because of the no-no. Two out of three against the Grunts isn't bad. Sorry Martyb (NOT).”

“i'm coaching my 5 yr old's t-ball team and assistant coaching on my 11 yr old's team....8 yr old plays too....

we had 7 games last week(the first of the season)....SEVEN!”

“Yeah, enough about the Phillies....

Cameron's team beat the first place team again - 2-0 now against teams in first place when they played them. And they're in first place now! I feel I should take a little credit, since I'm primarily the fielding coach, and we're allowing the fewest runs per game.”

“Right, go ahead and take credit away from the pitching coach!”

“Well, I would have given the pitching coach some credit, but we use a pitching machine at this level, heh heh....”

“Doh! Foiled again!”

“Yawn, I guess the Phillies must've won again.”

“This just in!

Cameron's Little League Tigers have more wins than the actual Detroit Tigers! Four versus three! Woo-hoo!”

“The Baltimore Orioles say they will fight any move to move the Montreal Expos to DC or Northern Virginia because it would violate their franchise rights. I can see how having a major league team so close to a minor league team would hurt the Orioles' attendance!

That Peter Angelos has done more to run a great franchise into the ground than another team in DC could ever do.

Besides, the Orioles moved into the old Senators' territory in 1953.”

“Yep. I say it gets settled with a duel. Bud Selig v. Peter Angelos, pistols, 20 paces.

Either way, baseball comes out ahead.”

“Yankee fan here...
Bud Selig is a slug from the deepest Abyss in a donkeys keyster. and Angelos is a hemroid on the that keyster hole. I
Live Near Rochester and he has screwed our minor league team Red Wings for years. It was one of the longest afiliates in history.
Players like Cal Ripken played for the redwings. This is the first year we are free of him and we now afiliated with the Twins....
I hope he gets a good case of Giardia !
as far Slug, I hope Pete Rose gets a Tag team match in the WWF between Bud Selig and Angelos vs Rose and The Rock !!!
Pete Rose for president !”

“Trouble is Bit, they'd both miss. Let me do it.”

“Yah, with that 120mm cannon you've been bragging about, chances are you'd get them both. Baseball is saved!”

“It looks like Sammy Sosa just got busted for having a corked bat.”

“yeah I was going to start a thread w/story, but you saved me some time.

Put a cork in it”

“It's baseball season? I wish somebody would tell the Phillies!”

“OK, Cameron's team plays in the semifinal game tonight against the 3rd place team. They finished the regular season in 2nd place with a 14-4 record and the lowest runs allowed per game average (3.5) of any team at any level in the whole city! Any advice for them? Any advice for the third base coach (me)?”

“Don't scratch anywhere embarassing.”

“Don't step on the white lines.”

“Re: scratching - too late, they've already mastered that one.

Re: lines or other superstitions, we already have our "lucky" pre-game routines, but I will incorporate the lines thing tonight!

Anything else?!”

“I guess you've got them running to the right bases. That should about do it. (God help 'em)”

“Wear a cup in case someone lines a foul shot at you!”

“Good idea, aero! I'll borrow Cameron's....”

“Just have fun. The kids will.”

“LOL!”

“We're playing a team with a very nice guy as the manager (our manager is, too). Both times we played them this year we had a lot of fun joking around with them. The kids definitely enjoy it more when the managers set an example of having a good time. Go Tigers!!”

“Current temp at nearest weather station to Little League fields, including wind chill: 51 (55 with 15mph wind).

Brrrrrrrrrrrr!”

“Good luck to you and your son's team, Martyb! :-)”

“Woo-hoo!!

Cameron's team won 11-6, so we're in the final, to be played Saturday morning. Of course, the third base coach was awesome (!), but Cameron had an outstanding game, too. He was 2 for 3 at the plate, including a clutch double with the bases loaded to max us out on a 5-run-limit inning. He also threw out a runner at third from right-center (they play 4 outfielders) with a beautiful throw on the fly!”

“Thirsty Thursday was rained out tonight and it blew a large hole in my social calendar.”

“Hmmmm. They don't have "Thirsty Thursday" at the Little League fields.”

“Didn't think so... <G>”

“Thirsty Thursday? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...beeeeeeer....”