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“FAQ's about HMWH Club.
Q. Does the He Man Woman Hater Club really hate women?
A. No, in fact, we love women, just a certain type. HMWHC guys like the following type of characteristics in women:
1. Nice hot young bodies.
2. Women that don't b!tch and complain about stupid stuff.
3. Chicks that can pee in the woods and brag about it.
4. Babes that think shopping means buying state of the art gear.
5. Honey's that can tough out blisters for over 4 miles without complaining.
6. Anybody hot babe that has worked at a Hooters establishment, or would consider it.
7. Sweet Pumpkins that love sex, and could never tire of it, even after married.
8. Sugar Dumplins' that can belch, and still look hot.
Q. I like strip clubs and hiking, am I the kind of guy that would fit in?
A. Uhhhh, yeah, please read the above criteria.
Q. Can I be a member if I'm married?
A. Hell yeah, especially if the wife depicts qualities that are contrary to what we look for in women... this is a haven for you brother.
Hope this helps.”
“I LIKE WOMEN WHO CAN COOK!”
“We all like women who can cook and clean. That is what they do best.”
“Yeah NG, fatter goose, you sicko!”
“uhhhhhh, and what bacpac said, but add... naked. :)”
“I have to admit, I agree with all of the eight points listed by Buddha Bear.
However, I might have to take minor issue with #6. Hooters is great, don't get me wrong.. but I think it'd be much cooler if a hot chick worked at Campmor. HUBBA! HUBBA! ”
“What kinda of barrel do you fish in??”
“LOL!!! good one, wascley wabbit!”
“I totally agree with everything on the Q & A list!
#8 on the list pretains to all the chicks from the Michigan trip! That was so cool to hear a good lookin chick belch and then look at you like, "How was that?"
It's a pet peave of mine to hear "BELCH" , "excuse me". A Good Belch deserves a High Five!!”
“that would be tarabelch and belchafrass”
“I like to call Tarabull "Burpy Belchwell".”
“so we can add Burpy Belchwell to the other names she has.”
“pretty soon she'll have more names than crazy mike and his trolls.”
“Okay, I have no idea how this happened, 'cause that name looks exactly like mine, but I did not post on this thread last night. I was at home at that time, studying for Biology and trying to make pasta for Newergirl. I think someone has my freakin' password!!!!”
“Violin can post as anyone, at any time. Beware!”
“newgirl, check the "l" it's actually an "I". but "Sicko!" was a good response nonetheless!”
“Maybe Newgirl will have as many names as Crazy Mike and his trolls!”
“Damn. I am so jealous. I want a troll I can call my own.”
“I think I'll start an over-the-hill man women lovers club.
First rule: I am the only male member.
Second rule: Unlimited, free female lifetime memberships.
Ladies can sign up anytime.
I wish you studs good lives.”
“Oh thank goodness! Thanks for pointing that out Aero, I was skeered 'fer a minute.”
“hi, newgirl! did you see the whole thread started by your troll, something about "i've been so busy"? anyone with a lower-case L in their name is not safe!!
“that's right Iyra!”
“right on, aer0! ;-)”
“Men are like toilets........
either they are taken,or full of crap.LOLRH!!!!!”
I'm trying here!
“Then I have to admit to being full of crap, but that should come as no revelation.
So that makes me an over-the-hill full-of-crap man women lover not taken.
Anything else you want to know ladies?”
“I really expected a long line of female applicants by now.”
“C'mon ladies, step right up. It's your opportunity to put the lie to the HMWHC for all time. This is the only alternative on TT.”
Do I need to give you some journalist's insult now, Geobeet?
Hmmm... we have a jury out at the courthouse across the street right now. For the arson trial for a former police chief (he wasn't "former" then) of a town we cover.
I'm waiting to go over. Lunch didn't set (sit??) well. LOL!! Actually, it's one of those cases where ya let the big boy dailies pick it up, use their stories as your base... and then you get some local angle.
(I just wanna see if Geobeet, in his role as Ed Asner, will get on my ass about this. LOL!!)”
“bacpac...buddah..you don't want to mix your women up...
the one that cooks and cleans, should never be allowed to meet or see the ones that dance and serve you in jiggly motions. It is important that you not confuse these 2 species of women”
Ode to Tadeus Wladyslaw Konopka
“Can I be Ted Baxter!!!!! HAhAHAhAHA,,HAhaha, HAHAHA, HAHAA
,,,,'get your foot off the boat, Spalding'”
Good God Lizs
“Are you applying to my club, beating yourself up by asking an editor to do it for you, or just airing journalists' gripes?
Let's start with lunch. You obviously paid for it, which is a no-no. Journalists exist on free feeds. Their guts are not designed to digest food they have to pay for. Your editor should have assigned you to a free food story instead of a court house thingy.
I hate stories that use a local angle of a daily's story. When I read them I say so what? Who cares? Besides, I don't agree with them. I can't even bring myself to ask those kinds of questions (Say, what to you think of the Chechan rebels holding hostages and blowing up a theater? Do you think it could happen here? Did you know any of the Chechen rebels? Did you ever go to Chechnya? Do you know where Chechnya is? Do you care where it is?).
Here's the deal: you covered the town where the alleged (journalists say alleged all the time, allegedly. But that's just my allegation) crime occurred, and the dailies are going to beat the snot out of you time-wise. When your paper comes out it will be old news, so what you need to do is find an fresh angle that will seem like news when you finally get onto the streets.
Like, for illustrative purposes only, considering that the allegations are only alleged to have allegedly happened, the mayor says that procedures have been put into place to monitor the new chief of police so he doesn't burn anything down, or that everybody on the force knew the old chief liked to play with matches, or the owners of the places burned are suing the department - get anything new and unique to lead the story. Then you go into the trial.
The other thing is to talk to the prosecutor and find out what key evidence prevailed, and how he presented the case, or the defense lawyer in case of acquittal. Delve deep into that area, because the dailies will be caught up in deadline spot news reporting.
Or, you could use the Sam Donaldson/Howard Cosell technique, viz, "How does it feel chief, now that you're washed up?"
And for God's sake, get some free food before you starve yourself to death with a stomach full of indigestible food.
What do they teach in J-school these days???
If it weren't for us old curmudgeons ...”
I'm here at the library thong-spottin' and I don't even have to leave a tip.”
“In a world torn apart, by greed, strife and hate
I wanna talk about my membership, is it too late
what are the fees, what`s it all for and when are they due
woulda woman wanna join a club with only one man and it you
it doesn`t sound like the kinda place any right thinkin` kinda person would even wanna be
and about me joinin` up, NO Thanks, I refuse to be a part of any club that would consider me”
“I think the membership of this club will dwindle, one by one, until even the very last flag-waving member actually gets laid.
Just my opinion. I could be wrong.
It might never happen.”
“I can't get this thread to degenerate if all you horny ol f@rts are gonna keep drooling like that.
Dontcha realize that those of you with mates or SOs on this board are being laughed at by your mates or SOs? "Right, like he would REALLY stand a chance with a Hooters babe!"
They do know the difference between a real threat and the boys expressing their purile dreams.
Or you'd be single guys, like the rest of us!
Step over to MY club ladies!
Cha cha cha!
(Not you lizs, at least until your story's filed! The world is waiting to hear about that chief what plays with matches, allegedly of course.)”
I think the chicks are getting fed up with y'alls chauvanistic(sp?) crap.
Y'all need some sensitivity training.”
“Gosh, ya think so?”
“Lizs is still hanging around the court house looking for a free meal I guess. Guess I'll limp off home and rustle up something.”
“"bacpac...buddah..you don't want to mix your women up...
the one that cooks and cleans, should never be allowed to meet or see the ones that dance and serve you in jiggly motions. It is important that you not confuse these 2 species of women"
- spoken like a true president.
"I think the membership of this club will dwindle, one by one, until even the very last flag-waving member actually gets laid.
Just my opinion. I could be wrong.
It might never happen."
- Blasphemy! Stone HIM! Stone Him!”
“if i wasn't so browbeaten i'd tell stories of my exploits with hooters women and even show pics and mpegs...but since my SO reads the board..i'm basically screwed...”
“Gee Opie, you bring new meaning to the idea of asking for sex from your partner.”
“I've got a seeeecret about the newest member of the HMWHC! Opie, what's it worth to you? As president you really should know about this.”
“Don't tease him like that Sass.”
“Phaedrus is a 'mo.”
“Sass - Another good quesiton is
What's it worth to the "newest member" for us NOT to tell... ????
I love bribery!
I accept cheese and cash.”
“I agree, Phaedrus.
It probably will never happen.”
“What's it worth to the 2 newest members for me not to tell?????
I accept cash and miller lite in the plastic bottles or a gift certificate to your local REI retailer.”
“Lyndy's extra-feisty this morning! :-D”
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