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What would you do?
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“The only people that really understand the concept of "letting go" are found in ALANON. You can find them in the phone book.”
“Dude...wish I could help. The fact you care so much is obvious and it puts you LIGHT YEARS above many fathers I know. You know anyone can be a father, you are proving you are a Dad!”
“Whew, no easy answers for this one :(
I will share, however, something that just recently blew me away... I'm communicating with a long-time good friend (male) who has been unhappy in his marrige for 20+ years, but stuck in there thinking he was doing the best thing for his kids... ie., providing a stable family setting, etc.
Turns out that his kids have, for years, viewed their parents relationship as really sucky, and it has negatively affected them.. not positively, as my friend had hoped his "commitment" & willingness to put up with almost anything, for the sake of family stability, would demonstrate to his kids.
So now neither of his kids wants to participate in what we might call a "traditional" marriage / family relationship, they want no part of it!
My point is, maybe the very best thing that could have happened is that you split up & your kids have access to different folks with different approaches to life? No matter what decision you did / didn't make, your kids will learn to make their own decisions based upon the info THEY want to consider!”
“Gotta agree with Wanderer (if that is who he is (LOL))...NO Wanderer is correct I have two friends who kept going through cr@p with each other. I hated it because they kept going to me for Umpire duty. They finally spent a weekend in the mountains came back and had a VERY Amicable divorce. Heck after the divorce they have become better friends then they ever were married.
Regardless of your situation, you can only do the BEST you can do. Not being judgemental here but I would be doggone proud to call someone with your charachter as a friend (in a tough situation).”
“Thanks for the kind words and support guys. As it turned out I was invited to dinner with some friends so I did that instead. I slept a little easier knowing the cell phone I was more than just a paper weight. Maybe I can get some trail time in this weekend on the Adena trip. It will depend on who has the kids.”
“So true, Wanderer.”
“My company has had me sub-contracted out for the last 5 months.
The company I contracted into asked me if I was interested in working directly for them.
The first thing I asked was if there had been any agreements between the two companies about stealing employees – and the answer was no.
So I said, make me an offer. I need to know the job description and compensation.
Fast forward 5 months. The people who want to hire me tell me “the ball is in my court”.
They have 15 million worth of work in my employer’s plant and, after talking to the owner, they’ve become afraid of upsetting my employer and jeopardizing deliveries. They want me to sever ties with my current employer before they will talk to me any further about hiring me.
This all makes me very uncomfortable and is not like anything I’ve ever heard of.
I’d have told them to take a leap straightaway, but we’re talking about (actually, hinting at) 25k+/yr more.”
“I agree that you should be cautious. But I don't blame them for being the same.
Have you had a frank conversation with them and tell them your concerns about resigning without an offer in writing? I can't believe there isn't a way to work that out if they want you that bad.
Happy T'day le Subtil!”
“Wow. I wish my Mexicanized future was so forseeably cut-and-dried.”
“Dhutch: Yes, we talked. That's where "the ball is in your court" came from.
Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Miss you!
Moonglo - my sentiments exactly.
GoJo - that's what got me into this mess - outsourcing.”
“Here's an option:
(1) interview at another company
(2) if you get an offer, ask your current company for a raise, or quit
(3) if you quit, go back to the first company (the one you're contracted for now) and talk
(4) if they say "yes", you're in - if they say "no", you still have another job (#2)”
“Depends too on how good a relationship you have with your current company - and whether you want to stay there - how happy are you, what are the benefits, etc.
Do you feel like you can go to your current boss and tell them whats going on without getting canned? How would they view it - why do want to leave? If its all about money, i'd caution you to sit back and really evaluate all the other aspects of the job - the commute, the 'feel' of the environment - all the intangibles.
Money comes over long periods of time - its slow. But you have to live in the environment and make the commute and tolerate the benefits every day all day.”
“Moonglo is dead on.
I've been fed so many pie in the sky stories over the years that I'm more than a little jaded.
If someone wnats to hire me from a solid gig they had better give me a damn good reason to jump.
last edited: 11/22/06 11:47:26 AM”
“Trust your instincts. Everyone here feels the same way. Look out for number one. If they want you bad, they'll do what you need.
Whenever you wanna come over and see the windy city let me know! Love guests and have lots of room for you, wife, kids, dogs, hamsters :-)”
“Or...just tell them "ok, I have severed ties"
"I am outta here in two weeks"
"give me the offer"
get it then walk in and give two weeks notice.”
“what to do?
I went on an interview last week for a vet tech at a company that I very very much want to work for. Then today I went on another job interview for a purchasing agent. something I was doing before the animal kingdom came calling.
Both interviews went very well.
I just got home and found out that I got the job at the animal shelter but not for a vet tech. It is more for hands on with aking care of the animals. but this is the kicker, same pay as vet tech but the hours are 3:00 pm to 12:00 am. now mind you it is in the city and travel time is 1 1/2 hours which puts me home after 1:30 am. i would never see my family. But the up side is that i do not have to give an answer till the 26th. so if i am offered the purchasing job, im not sure what i would do.
too manys pros and cons here.
pro working with a great company and the animals
cons never seeing family
other company pros' heck of a lot more money
8:30 to 5:30
cons leave the animal kingdom behind”
“how about b) neither? easy for me to say, huh?
i will always regret this job and it's affect on my family, primarily BrianSean. i definetly miss not working with kids anymore too.”
“If it was my decision, I would take the job that offered more money and gave me the time to be with my family.
I quit the job of my dreams many years ago because I knew it would eventually lead to a divorse and I wanted to have children. I was never home and would sometimes spend the entire week at work. We had all the comforts of home which made it easy, yet I never saw my wife.
I quit a year after we got married, thus horrifing my family who liked to brag that their son was a TV producer. I worked as a mystery shopper and went to grad school.
I am now at a law firm as a corporate collector making 5 times what I would be as a producer, and I would 9 to 5 for the most part.
I still get to do something I love though...talk to people.”
“I gotta say...Do what you like. I am sorry but I spent way too many years clawing my way up the ladder. Today I really enjoy going to work in the morning. (or at 2 am).
will there be a time when you can get a different time slot with the vet job? I know there is often a "s-end of the stick" work that sees if you can handle the crap.
If not...well make the call. It will be the right one.”
“I agree with Wounded. Family first. :)”
“It's about you and your family; make up your own mind.”
A few questions to ask yourself
“How long would you have to work 3 to 12? Would you eventually be switched over to days?
If you took job #2, do you see yourself working there 5 or more years down the road?”
“second shift sucks - if you have to do shift work try to get third shift”
“I always liked second shift better than third, then again I'm not married with a family.”
“thanks for the advice nimble
i'm not taking the dream job. But I have till the 26th to tell them. i spent to many years wanting nothing more then to spend time with my family. i need to be with them. i plan on keeping in touch and see if anything else opens up at the company. i need to work up not down”
You clearly understand your own priorities and are willing to sacrifice to maintain them. Whatever your choice, I believe it will be a good one based on this. Keeping your priorities - I believe - will keep you in a position personally and professionally to capitalise on future opportunities. The dream job will come.
“thank you doug :)”
“I spent 5 years in the restaurant business working 70+ hours a week. I kept telling myself that it was the company or it would get better as I worked my way up. I was kidding myself. Getting out of that was the best thing I ever did. If I was single it might have been different but I can't imagine now, with a kid, working that kind of schedule. I'll always pick family over anything else, yes even hiking.”
If you were the dad, what would you do ...
1) if you witnessed the attack firsthand.
2) if you came across the girls moments after the attack.”
“Let the law do it's job.”
“Jail for all !!!!”
“And of course the girls were in clear violation of Nigal's Rules to Life, in particular scetion 3 of the revised code...
1. No one talks about Fight Club
2. Two in the head so ya know they're dead
3. Never photograph anything
4. Never write anything down
5. Deny! Deny! Deny!”
“6. If girls are gonna fight, make sure there's plenty of water around and they're all wearing nighties or white t-shirts.”
“Oil or mud would be nice.”
“its always interesting how people like this always choose someone smaller than them to act tough with.”
“and always 3 or 4 on 1.”
“I found it interesting that minors were identified in the write-up by age and name.”
“probably because they are getting charged as adults”
“hyway.. that would be my assumption.”
I wonder if he waited until he was done?
“Man jailed for 'provoked' hammer death
“ unwanted oral sex.
let's call it what it is. it's rape
not that i condone the murder, but lets not pusssyfoot with words”
“You should be listening to the Pope.”
“"On November 15, 2005, both men had been drinking and returned to Mr Martin's unit."
Looks like they sure did.”
“You're enjoying an afternoon picnic and swim at a day use area in a national park. You see a man earnestly memorializing his love for his wife on a tree. What would you do?
Then, a lady pulls up in pickup truck, gets out shovels and buckets and proceeds to gather enough gravel from three huge gravel piles to re-gravel her drive way. What would you do?”
“1. Take a picture. It will last longer.
2. If this was a National Park I would call and report the incident to the rangers... then go take some more pictures.”
“wait stomper... recall that I like many on this board have a filthy mind and the term "memorializing his love for his wife on a tree" could have a few meanings.”
“He was really going at it! The tree never stood a chance with that big knife he used.”
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