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“Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.
One of them looks at the other one's #&%!$ and notices there's a
Nicoderm patch on it.
He looks at the other priest and says, "I believe you're supposed
to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your #&%!$."
The other one replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down to two
butts a day."”
“WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt,
Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb
Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and
Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
She w as then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a
son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced
Schitt -Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He
recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can
Crock O. Schitt”
“WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly Stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
By the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the<> drunk to
her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly".”
“I can't decide whether or not that joke is funny until you tell me if that was a walmart grocery store.”
Why Men like Women wearing Leather
“When a women wears leather clothing,
A man's heart beats quicker,
his throat gets dry,
he goes weak in the knees,
and he bigins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why ?
She smells like a new truck.”
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