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The Ledgen of the Skeery Woof Bare

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So any ways Hopper Bug was walkin in the woods to home and she sayed "OH MY GOODYS! I did not member to get my gimmedat blanky!" and she walked the nother way to get her gimmedat blanky.

She got the gimmedat perty good but did not see no ded skeery woof bare. She smeld the leefs and derts and sayed "some buddy done been heer and put a stik in the skeery woof bare mouf and dragged him some wher els". She smeld the leefs and derts some more and sayed "it was a lady and a rat!"

"Yes! It was Dokter Weevel and Stinky Rat!" she sayed some more. "They prolly taked him to the hopstittel to get him a sergry leg and some ey mennicin." So Hopper Bug rund and rund home to tell ever buddy.

She sayed what happen to Skinny Kenny and Skinny Kenny sayed "that skerry woof bare better get ded GOOD! You will get a possy and go get the skeery woof bare ded reeeeeeel good." and Hopper Bug sayed "ok".

So Hopper Bug got a possy that was Sooper Loopy, the sooper chwawa; Tooter, the gooooood hole digger; and Grizmo, the best ressel dog NEVER! They was The Merican Heerows.


So Hopper Bug and the Possy went walkin in the woods to wher the skeery woof bare was. Then Hopper Bug sayed "rite heer is wher I resseld up the skeery woof bare perty good".

Then Tooter sayed "I am perty tired so I will dig a good hole and get a nap" and she digged a hole and got a nap.

Then Grizmo sayed "it is perty stinky over heer on the leefs. They prolly went that way". So ever buddy went walkin that way and Sooper Loopy sayed "We for got to get Tooter" so ever buddy went bak and got Cooter and she sayed "I was gettin a good nap but yall waked me up yall stinky butt bassterds!" and ever buddy sayed "what never".

So ever buddy was walkin in the woods and smellin the stinky and Hopper Bug sayed "Ther is the hopstittel!" and it was the hopstittel.

Then Tooter sayed "I am perty tired so I will dig a hole and get a good nap" and she digged a hole and cralled in the hole and taked a nap.

Then Grizmo yelled "Get out side you skeery woof bare and I will ressel you up perty good!" and the skreem dore opened and there was Stinky Rat! and Hopper Bug resseld up Stinky Rat and ATE HIS HED OFF! and Stinky Rat did not say no theeng cuz he was reeeeeeel ded and awreddy more stinky.

Then ever buddy heerd "Ooooooooo I am the Skeery Woof Bare!" and then there was the skeery woof bare with a sergry leg. The Skeery Woof Bare did not walk verry good but he tride to eet ever buddy any ways.

Sooper Loopy sayed "I will eet off the skeery woof bare ey balls!" and she rund on a tree like a tree rat and hopped in the air and FLIDE LIKE A BRID! cuz she got a sekert puncho that makes her fly like a brid.

Then she hopped on the skerry woof bare hed and DID BITES ON HIS EY BALLS! and the skeery woof bare sayed "OOOO THE PAAAAANE!" and he cralld on the dert to a hole and cralld in the hole and Tooter sayed "who is crallin in my hole you bassterd?" and seen a foot crallin in her hole and did some bites on the foot and it got bleedy and the skeery woof bare sayed "OOOOOO THE PANE SOME MORE!"

And Grizmo was doin some good butt bites and Hopper Bug shaked and shaked and shaked her gimmedat and it was a skeery minit.

So ever buddy was resselin up the skeery woof bare perty good and they heerd "Ah ah! I will get yall now!" and it was Dokter Weevel and she got a ROLD UP NUSE PAYPER! and BEET EVER BUDDY and ever buddy sayed "OOO! THE PAAAANE!" and RUND THE NOTHER WAY! But Grizmo did not run the nother way cuz he is not skeerd of the rold up nuse payper. He sayed "I will ressel up the rold up nuse payper" and resseld the rold up nuse payper and Dokter Weevel GOT GRIZMO ON A LEACH AND PUT HIM IN THE KENDEL! o8=



So then Hopper Bug and Sooper Loopy was awreddy runned the nother way and sayed "I gess we better go bak and get Tooter" so that is what they done. They was sneeky cuz they was skeerd Dokter Weevel wold beet them some more but she did not kno they was bak then they sneeked bak home.

When they was walkin in the woods to home they seen a man warin a pakpak. Hopper Bug sayed what happen and the man sayed he wold get Grizmo in the kendel.

So then ever buddy sneekt bak to the hopstittel. The man (his name is Go Man) sayed "ever buddy get in a hole that Tooter awreddy digged" and ever buddy did. Then Go Man walked to the dore and sayed "Hay! Wher is ever buddy?"

And some buddy open the dore and it was Dokter Weevel and she sayed "what are you doin aroun heer?" and he sayed "I will get you some dollers and get my buddy in the kendel."

And she sayed "who is yer buddy?" and he sayed "he is jus a regler dog - which never dog you got I gess" and she sayed "that CRAZY weeny dog?" and he sayed "uhh yes" and she sayed "give me eleventy siks dollers and I will get the crazy weeny dog" and Go Man sayed "ok" and gived her eleventy siks dollers and they went in the dore.

So in a minit ever buddy herd Dokter Weevel yellin. She was yellin cusses. She sayed "dam dam DAMMMMM!" So then ever buddy sneekt to the windo and seen what was goin on.

They seen Go Man smellin Dokter Weevels nekkid stinky butt! He was smellin her stinky butt reeeeeeel good. Then Dokter Weevel sayed some prays. She sayed "O JEBUS! O JEBUS! O GAWD! O JEEEEEEEBUUUUS!!

I gess she got perty mad cuz her and Go Man resseld some and resseld and resseld. And she sayed more cusses and prays to. And then they seen a good theeng:
Go Man BEET HER WITH A ROLD UP NUSE PAYPER! She was reely mad and yellin to cuz it was prolly a perty good pane. She yelled some more but no buddy knowed what she sayed. It was like "O! OOO! OOOOO! JEEE! O! BUSS! OOO! GAAAA! OOOO! DAAAAA! OO! OOOOO! KWAAAAAA!"

In a minit Dokter Weevel was perty ded. Go Man walked to the kendel and opend it an Grizmo sayed "yay!" and then they walked out side and ever budy sayed "YAY!" but Tooter sayed "I am tryin to get a nap yall bassterds!"



Then ever buddy sayed "wher on erf is that Skeery Woof Bare?" but they did not kno that he rund alllllll the way to Lake Speerier and swimmed to Candada and rund some more and got a hubsand that was the Bombombabel Woof Bare! o8=


The Nother End
sarabelle
2:01:54 PM
4/02/03

The never ending adventures of Sarabelle.
Will the skeery woof bare ever be heard from again?
tahoe
2:27:17 PM
4/02/03

I spec so Mr. Taho, I spec so.
Geobeet
2:41:24 PM
4/02/03

I'm speachless..... this is better than '24'. How will I ever make it 'til next week's chapter
Hodgeman of BC
3:14:20 PM
4/02/03

All I can say is, "O JEBUS! O JEBUS! O GAWD! O JEEEEEEEBUUUUS!!"
aero
3:29:21 PM
4/02/03

Meeeeee-YOWZUH!!!
MrHyde
4:00:06 PM
4/02/03

omg thats 10 minutes of my life im neffer gawn git backs
2scoops
6:10:22 PM
4/02/03

damn!
Sarabell has turned into Orbit manifesto!

The new people won't get that joke
walkindude
6:15:24 PM
4/02/03

Belle you are so pimp!

8)
Crazy Mike Backpacks
6:15:55 PM
4/02/03

So, gojo, got a thing for the vet, huh?
treebait
6:41:32 PM
4/02/03

I kinda did... til she muttered the "H" word :o(

Is it customary for a vet not to wear her wedding band, ala electrician?

Speaking of...
it's time for the 2x$150.00 visit.
*rabies vaccinations
*bordatello(?) shots
*heartworm checks
*buttworm checks
*etc...
gojo
8:31:20 AM
4/03/03

awww...sorry to hear about the "H" word, Gojo.

The latex gloves have powder that gets all caught up in rings, plus the frequent handwashing and subsequent moisturizing, makes wearing a ring undesireable.

Too bad, it sounds like you could use a discount.
300 friggin' bucks for the yearly visit?!! eeek!
=:0
AmyG
9:14:59 AM
4/03/03

And besides, you might lose the thing inside a horse or cow or something...
bitpusher
9:18:50 AM
4/03/03

I "accidentally" included the vet bill in my medical expenses on schedule A. he's part of the family afterall.
hyway
9:21:32 AM
4/03/03

Once again... Sarabelle - thanks for the belly-laugh. It felt great!
tarabull
10:15:44 AM
4/03/03

Sarabell
Our doggie is going to the vet this weekend, too. She doesn't have to be cheked for butt worms this time, but "wee-wee" problems. When she goes to the vet she shakes like a leaf--probably because of 2 belly sergeries.

Are you skeerd when you go to the vet?
stumprider
1:24:31 PM
4/03/03

stumprider - "wee wee" problems. Is that like a " broken cooter"? My dog had a broken cooter recently. She had to be wiped w/ wet wipes after going potty.. .Funniest part was that I had to be out of town after she was diagnosed and my brother had to dog-sit and wipe her cooter.

"There is not greater love than that of a brother who will wipe your dog's cooter" - Nigal (came right out of the quote book!)
tarabull
1:52:55 PM
4/03/03

ohmadawg, LMFAO Tarabull!

you guys keeel me.
:o)
AmyG
2:11:12 PM
4/03/03

Sarabelle doesn't mind going, but she HATES staying.

I vowed to NEVER kennel her again after the way she acted last time - one year ago.

She knew the difference, somehow, when I left her for her overnite surgery ordeal last summer. Mebbe because it was a different hospital? Different personnel?

Anyhoo - she's especially alert about my whereabouts at her regular vet. I think she's still a little paranoid about being kenneled.
gojo
2:51:43 PM
4/03/03

tarabull
Don't know what a "broken cooter" is.
stumprider
3:01:26 PM
4/03/03

Khatru loves the vet...
he gets to howl non-stop, usually, when I pick him up after a few days, he's got no voice. Its really funny, he opens his mouth to howl, and nothing comes out.
stikmon
9:37:27 PM
4/03/03

Ahh, the world through the eyes of an innocent. One of life's true pleasures.
strider
11:39:42 PM
4/03/03

HEre's all you need to know about Sarabelle!

Enjoy!
treebait
9:40:18 PM
6/04/03

treebait
Thanks for bumping this up. Hope sarabelle returns soon.
stumprider
11:16:57 PM
6/04/03

Are Sarabelle & Gojo on summer vacation already?
Hodgeman of BC
11:35:57 PM
6/04/03

Check this link, H-man.


I found the Skeery Woof Bare's Picture again. It takes a few seconds to load if you have a dialup connection, but It's Worth It.
Tilt
11:42:11 PM
6/04/03

Thanks for the link Tilt - I really have been out of touch
Hodgeman of BC
9:26:39 AM
6/05/03

An excellent Halloween Tale!
or is it tail??
tahoe
1:34:35 PM
10/30/03

True dat!
pedxing
1:35:15 PM
10/30/03

Great tale... my kittykitty gurly brown enjayed it!
lizs
2:57:28 PM
10/30/03

Is the Skeery Woof Bare reely reel?!

What CRAZY persen sayed that?!

My goodys man! Did you reed the nother thred wher me and Miss Lissy and Gissmeaux my hubsand and my daddy seen the Skeery Woof Bare cabe with ded aminal bones?!

Ther is even pikters even!

My goodys graveys...
/o:3

Wold some buddy do a leenk to them pikters or what never?

You will be verry welcom.
sarabelle
3:29:19 PM
10/30/03

speaking of threads from the past, I thought some would like to see this one again. Complete with illustrations no less. I laughed my ass off when I read it.
Currafreak
5:48:44 PM
10/27/04

A TT Classic, in the classic sense.
Ghoulbeet
6:26:19 PM
10/27/04



hehe... Great thread. I just read the whole thing.
Blind Willie McTell
7:23:29 AM
5/14/05

I've seen that critter a walkin in the wilds of NC. I had packed into a remote stream in the Smokey Mtns to do some fly fishin. I was standin in the the water casting when this critter came down the path. He stopped and looked at me, then waded over to me and asked me to catch him some fish for his dinner otherwise he was gonna eat me. Well let me tell ya, I started fishing like crazy, everytime I'd catch a fish I'd reel it in, pull it off'n the fly and toss it to em. That Woof Bare would catch em in mid air and swallow em whole. I fished for 6 hours up and down that stream with that Woof Bare in tow, he must've et 20 fishes before he finally told me he had enough and he was full. Then he just wandered back into woods. I was shakin like fallen leaves from trees. I was tired from all that fishin, and I was thankful that I was still alive. I still have nightmares about it to this day, and whenever I see trout on a menu I get the hebejeebee's. Why just the seeing the likes of him again in this pic has made me spill my morning coffee all over my keyboard....
Fearful.....fearful indeed......
pakratz
8:20:44 AM
5/14/05

ratratz - OH MY GOODIES! That is the verry theeng that happend for me! Cept I had to ketch tree rats and lisserds and what never. I am verry lukky that I am not ded Skeery Woof Bare suppers to!

Blind Mik Willy Tail -
OH MY GOODIES! That is a verry good pikter of the Skeery Woof Bare to! I taked a pikter to be for but is fussy and blurbed be cuz I was runnin like a SKEERDY CHIKKEN! BOL!
Sarabelle
3:03:09 PM
5/17/05

A true classic!
treebait
10:19:25 PM
8/24/05

treebait
7:13:32 AM
8/17/06

Good find!

And up there in Stephen King land to boot! No wonder he grew up writing horror stories! Me thinks IT'S CUJO!!!
lizs
7:51:47 AM
8/17/06

I was thinking some weird badger or wolverine hybrid myself.
treebait
7:53:33 AM
8/17/06

Looks kinda like a chow mix.
StoveStomper
10:10:57 AM
8/17/06

That's what I was thinking SS.
lumberzac
10:13:00 AM
8/17/06


Wow, it does look just like an akita.
treebait
11:48:47 AM
8/17/06

treebait
11:58:54 AM
8/17/06

Ah! Truts me - it aint no Skeery Woof Bare (I gess if yall never seen the Skeery Woof Bare yall wold kno that aint no Skeery Woof Bare and yall wold not be sayin it mite be the Skeery Woof Bare).

It is prolly jest a Not Verry Skeery Woof Coyota. Them are perty commin ever wher and if they seen a reel Skeery Woof Bare they wold RUN THE NOTHER WAY jest like ever buddy els does incept the ones that get ate by the Skeery Woof Bare be cuz they dont run verry far and say no theeng.
Sarabelle
11:00:08 AM
8/18/06

Sarabelle, have you had any Skeery Woof Bare encounters lately?

How's your husband?
smiley girl
11:44:14 AM
8/18/06

the voice of reason speaks
humanpackmule
11:49:25 AM
8/18/06

BOL!
HMP sayed Smelly Gerl is a reeson! (what never a reeson is).

Any ways my hubsand Gissmaeioux is perty ok I gess. We been gettin fishes with ower daddy the nother days a go. We got VERRY MENNY of them! The fishes were perty big but the nother one was VERRY BIG! Gissmaeioux tride to get all the fishes ressel ups when they was dragged on the dert but when the BIG fish got dragged on the dert Gissmaeioux RUND THE NOTHER WAY like a skeerdy chikken! BOL!!!
Sarabelle
2:18:10 PM
8/24/06

Anybody seen the SWB lately? I hope not. Heard tell he may be hanging around Masten.
Jackstraw
4:45:16 AM
9/30/07

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